Good News and a few Updates

Hiiiiii!! I'm back and blogging from my brand new computer!! She's so purdy!! I have full ambition to catch up on my #bedn challenge....let's see if it can actually happen!! I'll simply start out by saying, my gosh.  While I wish we were sunning on a beach some place {let's be honest, 19 degrees is freaking freezing here!} I really couldn't be more thrilled with our "stay cation." This was the 3rd year we've done it and I'm really happy.  Joe's a hunter, and while I was worried I'd really miss him and wish "I had gone away on vacation," really it's been so nice to see him relax.  He works so hard, many long hours and not a lot of free time.  He doesn't have a lot of hobbies, he golfs maybe 3 times last summer.  He does play his video games, but hunting? He loves it and it's really great exercise walking the ravine, hills, and just the fields!

Wednesday was our family day, we had a sushi lunch and we ventured out to the mall and saw the new Von Maur store--very chic!  Brooke was a little fussy; she had a runny nose, cough and sneezes. We didn't stay more than 40 minutes and that includes giving her a bottle by the fancy fireplace seating.  We then drove a little bit because it was her nap time; man she is really stuck on our routine, and then stopped at a few stores.  I needed my Vanilla Bean Noel lotion & hand soap.  We also purchased a new garbage--wahoo--such a silly but needed thing to buy.  I finally got to bring Joe to Trader Joe's and that's always fun too!! We picked up some delicious French cut pork chops and he grilled them for dinner.

I will share my video from the other day--when I found out I have no further issues with my brain!! I'm so relieved and probably far too happy to learn it's just early arthritis in my neck.  I am very blessed and it's really putting everything into perspective with life.  I just don't take anything for granted.

I used my phone to record so I was distracted a bit by text messages coming through.  You get the point though.  Thanks again for everyone who wished me well!!

So for today I am still on a de-cluttering mission! I am cleaning out junk we are not using and either donating it or saving for a garage sale.  This girl is ready to organize!!  I just want a clutter free happy home haha!   Make today a wonderful one!

Day 6: Stress

Stress. It's something that is just a part of all of our lives.  Call it a coincidence, I suppose, but today is a tad stressful.  Actually, this week...if you've reading, you may remember back in July when I had an MRI done. {read here and here}  The results were a bit odd, and my neurologist basically told me to get some more MRI's done in November to see if anything has changed, and to check my spine as well. I believe it was due to one spot he saw in my brain that, well, he wasn't quite sure what it was...possibly an MS plaque?  Either way, it's all super scary and nerve-wracking stuff.  Since I learned about my odd findings, I pretty much put it out of my mind.  It wasn't like I had a specific diagnosis, and quite honestly there wasn't anything I could do.  He did stress to me that my blood pressure needs to stay in a healthy range, and that I cannot gain too much weight.  I had just begun my AdvoCare journey, and so it was as if it were perfect timing. 

I chose to focus all my stressful energy, into AdvoCare.  Instead of googling "MS symptoms" or "brain cysts" I read read leadership books.  I connect with people. I focus on all things good, happy, positive and uplifting.  I really try to stay away and out of drama, and I'm really working on being better overall.  I will say that since I've decided to stay at home, I have been far less stressed, for obvious reasons.  I used to worry over every little thing, and while I still catch myself doing so from time to time, I have to tell myself to just stop...

I love yoga and really need to get into that more.  I love long walks. I love jazz music. I love lighting candles and just being present in the moment.  I still have my crazy moments where I lose my cool and yell, or stomp my feet, but I am always working on being better.  I believe that some stress is good stress, but if you're not eating, or eating too much, not sleeping, or sleeping too much, then perhaps you really need to take a look at yourself.  Why are things this way?  Life isn't supposed to be draining and difficult all of the times.  It's like everything though, there are good times and bad.  It's how you maintain your cool and just go with the flow.  My husband is far better than me at doing that.  He really is "Joe cool."  It takes A LOT to ruffle his feathers, but I tend to get worked up a little lot easier.

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So I am just sitting down Wednesday night, to finalize my post...all I can say is, I survived this STRESSFUL day without being grumpy, mad, sad, or taking it out on anyone. It wasn't a bad day, but it was "just one of those days."  From 6:00 until 6:00 pm I ran around!  I can't even relive all the odd random weird crazy {are you done yet cosmos?} happenings of today.  I can say that when life gets you stressed, all you can do is laugh it off...

So....

How do you combat stress?

Cleanse Day 7 & Updates

So today is day 7 of 10 on the 'cleanse' portion of my 24 Day Challenge and I am LOVING that I am already seeing results.

While I'm not going to talk numbers yet, I am waiting until day 11 & 24 to measure.  I'm going to let my clothes do the talking.  Here is a size small shirt I have not felt "comfortable" in since last year.  The pants are post-pregnancy ones I bought at a size 10.  Already starting to feel a little loose!  My arms are also feeling more toned and less "jiggly". 

My workouts aren't super crazy.  I've done Zumba, the elliptical, yoga, and lots of walking.

Day 6 was SO awesome! I tried on a few pairs of shorts just for the heck of it, and OMG. They fit. {Don't mind my face on the right; I was just snacking on almonds/dried cranberries!

It was so nice to have my friend ask me if I was wearing a new outfit; the answer was no! I' m just fitting into things I haven't been able to in sooooo long!  Do you know how amazing this feels?  I want EVERYONE to feel this excitement.

I am even seeing definition in my legs, which I haven't seen in forever!

I'm not where I want to be yet, but I still have a long way to go on my challenge!!  I'm just super impressed that already my trouble area, aka my belly, is seriously shrinking and clothes are starting to fit again!

I'm getting a lot of people saying how much they love seeing my food ideas.  So, I'll keep sharing!  I love cooking so it's easy for me to be creative.

The Zucchini boat --- usually you throw some cheese on, but I'm avoiding dairy. So I just scooped out a zuc, added fresh tomatoes, a little EVOO, garlic/onion seasoning, and some Italian seasoning.  Threw in the oven at 350 for 30 mins. YUM.  I made smashed garlic cauliflower and heated up a turkey burger and made it dinner.

I know I keep repeating myself, but if I'm hungry, I eat.  Dessert last night was peaches again.

1 peach, sliced, a few walnuts & sprinkle of cinnamon.  Microwave until warmed through.  A cup of Calming herbal tea.

It's awesome to already feel this good and like my old self again.  Yesterday my friend and I took our kids to the Museum of Play.  I don't hate what I look like in pictures any more!

Brooke loved the statues!

We rode on this silly train.

And Grace made Brooke a crown at the Fairytale land.

Thank goodness I brought along something to snack on...a few carrots and a little hummus.

I also threw into my diaper bag a  Meal Replacement Shake  just in case--what a great idea! I was starving before we left and I just mixed it up really quick in a water bottle and boom.  Totally satisfied. I will definitely be bringing these when we go to Toronto!! It's nice to have backup, especially since my husband can go hours and hours without being hungry.  I always need something every 3!!

**Neurologist update--- Thank you for all the positive thoughts guys! I really appreciated.  Here's what I found out...

I actually have 3 'weird' things on up there.

1.  One Pineal cyst.  He's not too concerned with it, probably born with it...we'll monitor.
2.  Arnold Chiari Malformation..  AKA my brain is too big for my head!  No really, my brain stem is growing out a bit longer than it should; something I should keep an eye on for any odd signs (seizures etc) again, something I was probably born with and not to be too alarmed with.
3.  He's not quite sure.  At first he said it was a venous angioma---yeah.  Whatever that is.  Then he took another look and said maybe is an MS plaque.  Since he's not sure, I have to go back in November for an MRI on my brain and on my spine.  Boo.  I also go back 8.13 to have a little more testing done on my hearing/coordination I think?  It was all so much information.

So, I guess this is all "good news" because it's not like have I have Cancer.  He didn't give me a few months to live or anything drastic, but when I went in there, I thought I just had a few 'cysts'...so I wasn't expecting all this odd stuff up there.

Oh, and to top it off?? He said that the ringing in my left ear (which is the cause of me going through all of this) DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS STUFF.  I just find that hard to believe. But I'm not a Doctor, so what the hell do I know?

He really stressed to keep my blood pressure down, not stress, and to be healthy.  I told him I was on a cleanse and I'm really on top my health and now have an even more important reason to be super healthy.

You really just don't know folks.  Anything could be going on inside your body right now, and you'd have no idea.  This is why GOOD HEALTH is so important. I believe Nikki & Danielle and AdvoCare came into my life for a reason and I am SO thankful for this.  I just want to be in the best shape as possible and really enjoy my life.  However long I am granted to walk this earth, I promise to make it a healthy walk!!

Counting my Blessings, not my Problems

I've debated whether or not to share this, but as always, this is my little piece of the world...where I share what I feel like sharing, and if you don't like it, don't read it.  But I always, always, always, feel better writing it all out....

If you asked me a few days ago what I'd be blogging about, I am certain I would say something along the lines of, "Oh, ya know...my birthday.. Celebrations. Gifts. Good times with friends and family." And while all of that and more happened, the only thing that comes out right now, is that on my birthday, I found out that I have brain cysts.

Yeah.

What does that even mean?  I couldn't even tell you, if I knew.

I'll rewind.

Remember back in March where I was feeling all down about myself and developed a ringing in my ear?  [I wrote all about it here]  Well, since then, I have seen an audiologist, an ENT (twice) and now I have had an MRI.  The audiologist tested my hearing and concluded I had hearing loss in my right ear.  Which is odd, because I only have a ringing in my left ear.  She referred me to an ENT who evaluated me in April.  She said it did not appear that I had any 'brain issues' to worry about, by running a few quick tests on me.  {Me following her finger with my eyes, walking a straight line...really silly simple things.} Since I was full on nursing at the time, she said it'd be best to come back in July if I still have my ringing.  If that's the case, or if it gets worse {dizzy spells/vertigo/hearing loss} then I could get an MRI.  **Knowing this, is the main reason I chose to slowly switch to formula, and stop nursing...**

Well, July 17 came.  I showed up at the ENT office, on a 90+ day and their AC wasn't working. Sweet.  I had my hearing tested again, and it still showed the hearing loss in the right ear, and that I have trouble hearing high pitched sounds.  Again, the Dr ran through a series of little tests, following her finger with my eyes, checking my glands to see if they were swollen.  She said I appeared totally fine and she really did not see any reason to get an MRI.  She even said that there was a less than 1% chance of them finding anything, so really I don't need one....

Those words ring LOUDER in my ear, than this damn buzzing noise I hear.

Less than one percent.

I looked right at the Dr, and I told her if my insurance covers it, in full, that is one percent chance that I am not willing to take.  Looking over at my daughter, my beautiful baby girl, I pointed and said, "I won't be taking chances and I just need peace of mind."  She said ok, and I will order you an MRI.

I scheduled it for the following week.  Tuesday July 23, at 5:45 I went in to have an MRI.  I tried to stay cool, calm and not freak out.

Have you ever had an MRI? 

They're freaky.  This huuuuge long tube, your head goes into...they place this weird grate thing over your face, all of it is just so sci-fi.  I took a few deep breaths and just kept telling myself, it was all okay and that I just needed this for peace of mind.

After 25 minutes or so, and a million loud banging noises later, they slid me out and the tech gave me an injection in my arm for the contrast dye.  Back inside I went, with more banging, clanging noises, for another 15 minutes.  When that was through, and I sat up and got ready to leave, the way the tech said to me, "So, do you have an appointment set up to talk about the results with your doctor?"  I looked at him and got that weird feeling, like, yup.  He saw something.   "She's just going to call me..."

The Dr. called the very next day, but I wasn't home.  We have a home phone that I keep giving out because sometimes I don't like the cell phone ringing a million times a day when I'm out and about.  Well, I'm kind of glad I did miss that call because I was having a fantastic day with my girlfriend Kristin.  We were at the mall, shopping, dining, just being girls.  But I'll admit, hearing the Dr say, "I'll try back another time." on my answering machine freaked me right out.  Plus, in my experience with Doctors, 'no news is good news.'  I always have to call just to hear them say everything is fine.  I called them the next day and gave them my cell phone.

On July 25, the day of my 32nd birthday I was visiting my husband's grandmother and my mother-in-law at a Senior center.  They were working on quilts.  We had a nice little lunch together, and as if on cue, on the way back to my car, the phone rang.  She told me that there was no tumor {Thank the Lord} however, they did see some cysts, so I would be referred to a neurologist and need to take it from there...oh yeah, Happy Freaking Birthday to me!?

These cysts may or may not be causing my tinnitus (ringing) or slight vertigo or hearing loss. I really know nothing at this point.  I try to just stay calm, and realize that it could be much worse. I don't have cancer. I don't have a tumor.  But, I do have these shitty little cransters up in my brain that will need a little bit more investigation.  I go August 5th at 2pm to meet with a Neurologist.  I'd be lying to say if I wasn't a little scared.  I don't think anyone would like hearing that they have brain cysts...the brain seems to me the most valuable part of our body, and so very important.  Not that an ovary isn't, but I feel like it'd be easier to digest.  The whole brain thing freaks me right out!!

So, I'm trying to stay off of Mr. Google. I'm trying to eat the right foods and get enough sleep and stay away from too much caffeine....but until I know more, this being in limbo, kind of sucks.  I know things could be way worse, and I thank God that it's me and not Brooke with this issue.  Maybe I've always had these stupid things.  Maybe they are very common and it's not a big deal.  I don't want a pity party or any sympathy, but positive thoughts are always welcomed my way.

I'm a strong, tough, determined woman and I will do everything in my power to live a long, healthy, happy life.  I have a beautiful little baby girl who needs her mama, through every tumble, broken heart, backstabbing friendship, first bicycle ride,  A+ on a report card, driving lessons, college classes, boyfriends, dance competitions, family of her own...I will be that silly old lady who wears too much makeup and has cocktail happy hour every day at 4.  I just have to get through some of this (heavy) crap first.

It really does put everything into perspective.  You really never know what each day will bring you, so  please do all that you wish to do, right now.   There is no sense in waiting.

Make each day truly count...and count every little blessing.