Mommy Monday {yes, on a Tuesday}

Happy Tuesday friends!!

Yesterday I was so busy organizing and working on our taxes, thanks to a little help from my mother in law who played with the kids for the afternoon.

I am loving the extra sunshine around these parts.  It may only be in the 30's but when the sun is shining, life is so much better! I feel like Spring is trying so hard to come out and play.

I forgot to share a few blurry pictures from our Valentine's night.

The boys loved their cupcakes!

Last week I took the kids to an indoor play cafe and we had fun! It was nice to let them run and have free reign of the whole area.  It's amazing how much they've grown in the past few months.

There was a little kinetic sand table that they enjoyed.

Water play was a little wet, but they really loved it.

His hair was at the point where we really needed to cut it.

Little dude looked like an 80's hair band lead singer.

They split the most perfect grilled cheese sandwich and sat so well; I was super impressed!

Friday morning we headed to breakfast at a little diner, and since little man was all over the place, I said let's just do it.  Let's go get his haircut!!

So we did.

I'll spare you all the screaming and crying videos/photos, but the after photos are priceless.

SO MUCH HAIR!!

Our little stud muffin.

Saturday brought warm weather and we took a little trip out for a trunk show; it was great that I could reconnect with my old babysitter, the kids played with a new little friend and I was able to work my biz!

Sunday was still pretty nice out, so they played on the back deck for a bit.

After naps I took them to a small playground, but it started to get chilly and windy pretty fast.

He of course found the puddles to jump and splash in.

It makes me wish Spring and Summer would hurry!

February always bring forth a bit of a funk for me; I wish I recognized it sooner, but unfortunately sometimes you just go and go and go, until you hit a wall.  I think it's a combination of the lack of sunshine, cold weather and just being cooped up.

I realized we haven't had many date nights scheduled and we seem to work a lot; and although we both enjoy working and it's fun to us, it's time to prioritize and put some real relaxation and time into us.  Plus having a two year old and a four year old doesn't always leave a lot of room for adult only conversations and such.  It's a big old balance with everything, but you have got to find what matters most and work on that. 

Next year I told Joe that we will book a vacation to some place warm for February break.  I don't care where, but we need to get out of town!  We are currently trying to find a place to stay in July, as we'd like to go to the ADK mountains again.  We stayed at a hotel both times before and were interested in trying a house, but I think we may have missed the boat on that one.  Most places are all booked up it seems!  I'm sure it will all work out, but this family of four needs some family time and to get away; it's been 2 years come July since we did that.

What do you do to help get out of February Funk?

Post-Election Blues

I keep swaying back and forth between trying to be light & fluffy and allowing myself to read, and scroll, and scroll and read.

I wonder how this election would make us feel if it weren't in front of our faces 24/7.

Everyone has an opinion.

Everyone is sharing her opinion.

I don't even care who anyone voted for any more.

I don't even care who I voted for!

I'm sad when I read Hillary posts.

I'm sad when I read Trump posts.

It's making me sick and appalled at how we are treating each other.

The media is blowing things out of proportion; people are being overly dramatic.

I'm not a very political person, but my God, this has been a tough few days for me.

I know my heart is in the right place and that really all that I can do is within my own four walls, be the best mom, wife, friend, sister, daughter & human that I can be.

I have so much I want to say and yet nothing wants to really come out.

I pray for this world we live in and the future of our country.

It's not up to Mr. Donald Trump to solely make America great again; we the people have to do our part.

Get off social media.

Go be a good citizen.

Stop being ignorant.

Live your life fully and present and enjoy the season that you are in.

I truly believe there will be greatness after this chaos; it's all part of life.

I sincerely vow to not read another political post the rest of this week/end.

If it weren't for my little gig being online, I would stay off it entirely!

I've been listening to Joel Olsteen's The Power of I am.

This stuck with me today:

"Don't pray for a bigger blessing if you're going to complain about a bigger burden."

Be big, my friends. Stay positive. Spread light. Send love.  The world needs lots of it today.

Letter to my Younger Self...

{Disclaimer}
As I thought about writing this post, the "younger self" that really came to mind was when I was 26. It was right before I met Joe and I owned my own house, worked full time as an English teacher and was going to school to finish my Master's Degree.  I had a pretty crappy love life and was quite involved with school. I had a few really close friends, but I was definitely a little lost and missing something (or someone ;) It's kind of funny because I remember as the new year approached in 2008, I was telling myself I had no time for boys and to focus on my teaching and grad classes. That's really funny, looking back now, as January 2008, I met my now husband.

Dear Jenn,

You have got to give yourself some major slack.  You are far too hard on yourself; no reason to stress and worry so much.  You tend to make mountains out of mole hills and there's really no need for that. You'll learn to let go and let live eventually, but if you could do it sooner than later, I bet it'll save you a lot of heartache...

Speaking of, all those guys you tried dating and it didn't work out?  There's a huge reason for that. They weren't right for you.  You should spend more time alone. Go outside. Read more books for fun. Keep doing all that you are doing for school; you are a great teacher and those kids need you.

Eat better. Lean cuisines and diet mountain dew are not healthy.  Skip processed foods and eat real living fruits and veggies.  You'll probably ward off lots of germs. PS probiotics are really good for you!

Enjoy your time with Sadie lady; she was brought into your life for a reason and you'll miss her crazy ways one day.  Snuggle in bed with her as long as you can; pretty soon you'll meet someone and won't need the dog in the bed too.

Spend more time with your youngest sister; she is troubled, but maybe more time with her would help.

Maybe take some time and see a counselor a few more times about your sister and also for your parents' divorce.  Try and see both sides and view it from an outside perspective.  It'll get really ugly and being the daughter is never easy with a messy divorce.  Find some more support here; you'll need it.

Spend more time with your grandma & grandpa.

Take more trips.

Don't go back to any of your exes. They're your exes for a reason.

Your laundry and housework is a joke; wait until you have two kids, a husband and a 2000 square foot house.  A little dog fur and a few dishes is really nothing...

Learn to do things asap and not procrastinate.

Start wearing eye liner; it makes a huge difference!

Keep up the brunch tradition with your friends as long as you can. You'll miss it.

You should try to find a few families to babysit for on the weekends or weeknights. You could make some major bank!

Don't worry about what people say or think of you. It really doesn't matter.

Bagels for breakfast are not healthy.

Spend more time with your mom.

Go out to eat alone. Go to the movies alone. Do things independently.

Start listening to self improvement books, or reading them. It will change you.

On the other hand?

Don't do anything I mentioned, because everything you're doing will bring you right to where you need to be...

You, my dear, are living one hell of an amazingly awesome life.

Love,

Your 35 year old kick ass self.

Thoughts on Thursday

I saw a mug on social media, and I'm totally blanking on the company, but it said "Raising Tiny Humans in Exhausting." and I couldn't agree with it more.  There have been a lot of moments lately when my eyes just close and my mind stops racing, and I hear the cries.

Baby is up; his teeth are bothering him.  I go make a bottle, since that always helps, I go in and rock him for a bit.  He cuddles up with me, no longer fitting in the crook of my arms comfortably, but rather his long one year old body snuggles up close to me, head in my neck, me kissing his head.

I calm him down and he lays back down, holds his bottle and blankie and falls asleep...and what feels like moments later, I hear the damn neighbor's dog across the street bark, like clockwork at 6:30.

A few minutes later, I hear the baby.  And then Brooke. and just like that, the day starts over, once more.

I rush to get a bottle made, let the dog out, run back up to get Brooke out of bed so we don't have any accidents in bed, grab the baby and change his dirty diaper.  Hear the dog bark as she is back and doesn't want to sit outside in the cold. Run downstairs, turn on the coffee maker.  Iron Joe's clothes, get breakfast started...

It's a pretty standard routine and we could all get healthy and feel better, I know that it would run a little more smoothly.   Joe's Crohn's has really been acting up, he needs to go get checked out.  I've been dealing with some odd digestive issues myself and it's really getting old.  Healthcare is a pain in the butt and trying to get to appointments and figure out what is wrong is such a process.

We said to each other we really need to start having more fun.  I know life has changed with kids, but we know how important it is to keep our marriage and relationship strong.   I'm trying to interview more babysitters because we just don't have time for anything.  It's so hard to find good help you trust, so I am asking for some assistance from above, for a lot lately...

Baby boy is walking. Practically running! He's into everything and anything.  It's all eyes on him, or watch out.

Brooke had a pre-school open house for next year.  I was so nervous she wasn't going to get in because they only take 16 people, but we were #12 signing up and so that was a relief to find that out!

Joe sent me an article on how terrible it is to multi task in long story short, it makes you stupid.  Well explains it mommas!  At this point I have counted 6 times (and I have only sat down for maybe 5 minutes?) to grab Brookie tissues (runny nose).  She needed apple juice.  She was hungry.  She needed help with her play doh princess tower.  I forgot to grab my coffee.  I spilled the apple juice.

So, my point, as a mom, it's pretty much impossible to finish a task without stopping for someone else.  And when I don't stop? I hear cries. Whines. And eventually those little whines aren't so cute.

7 times now. I've stopped 7 times. 8.  9.  10...that play doh didn't keep her attention very long!



Anyway, I know this is a season, and I keep telling myself I'll miss this.  But right now?  It's hard.  Life gets hard, Being a mom to two littles and a wife to someone who has a pretty crappy disease and me not feeling well?  It's tough.  I somehow was afraid to be here on this blog. I worry about what everyone reading it will think, but after listening to Amber from Mommy's Me Time, I realized I have to stop.

If I feel a little helpless and like everything is not under control, I am sure there are other mommies out there feeling the same way.  I keep listening to a lot of Joel Olsteen (in my car) and Terri Savelle Voy (On you tube) and I keep hearing about how I need to act like it's all better. I need to thank God for all that I have, to be grateful, but also to thank him for what I want, as if I already have it.   Basically, it's "Living Breakthrough minded" and so that is what I'm going to keep doing.

Before I feel like I'm on top, I have to go through some tough times..well folks, I think those times are present.

I really feel like I'm rambling today, but I never want it to seem like I have it all together.  That I'm super human or perfect, because I'm not.  I'm not bulletproof and I always strive to be my best, but sometimes life is a little messy and just not easy.

There is so much I wish were different, and I try so very hard to work on my mindset and focus on the good.  Like in my little business? I did reach my goal of Associate Designer.  I had a few amazing socials last month and I actually did it and promoted within my 2 months.  So awesome and I am so proud of myself.  I know that it's important to me to have my own little thing. I find it so fun to help people create personalized pieces that bring them joy.  I would love to be able to work on this business for a few hours a week at a coffee shop or have some more at home socials, because I know I need that basic girl connection.  But now? I feel like it's back to the drawing board with my sweet little family and trying to heal all of us...

It takes a village to raise kids and sometimes I feel like the village is Joe and I.  And that's ok, it just takes a lot of work on our part!  I know we need some kid free time, more than just 4 hours away for dinner, and so that is my goal by the end of the month.  I told him I just want to eat sushi in bed & sleep in past 7!! That sounds heavenly.

How do you survive the tough moments of mommy hood?  Aside from the coffee/wine suggestion, as those really aren't helping my tummy problems!!  I'm all ears.

Life Lesson: Be Yourself [real talk]

I know it's not New Years, but man…is anyone else feeling like you're on the brink of a new discovery?? I tried to explain to my husband last night, driving home from his haircut.  You see, we basically took a family field trip in the 'burban with him, just to spend some extra moments together.  He has another tent sale this week/end, and his birthday is Friday.  I already miss him and try not to stress about being alone with the kids, but I digress…

So we were driving, and I said to him that I feel like a little chick just starting to poke her beak through an eggshell.  I feel like I've been in a bit of a fog and I don't really feel like going into all the details of it quite yet, but right now? Today? Yesterday? Monday? I FEEL GREAT.  

I've started reaching out to mommy friends, putting myself out there and just being me.  I don't know where I've been exactly, but I feel like I really try to reflect on life and when I started to think of WHY I started blogging, I realized I wasn't really doing what I loved with it.  

I also sat and asked myself, Jenn.  If someone said to you, "What do you love to do?  Besides being a wife/mom…what is it that Jenn loves?"

Well, my answer wouldn't have been anything that I was focusing my time on.  I guess I have sort've had an epiphany, and I believe that the universe is strong, and powerful and will send you messages, but only if you're open to accept them.

I love dancing. I love reading. I love writing. I love blogging.  Working out--I love/hate. More than anything? I love other people! I love getting to know other women and learning from them.  I love spending time with my kids, don't get me wrong, but I guess I felt like there was this void I was trying to stuff and fill, and really--there's nothing to stuff.  I just have to relax, breathe, and live more naturally.  

Sure, I have a few belly rolls I want to lose and some arms/legs/booty that need to be toning. But I am healthy and well, and my goodness, my day is busy and filled with chasing a crawling baby and an energetic and very smart toddler!  

So I've been reading, listening, talking, and just being.  Constantly learning. Never do I ever stop learning.  Or thinking. I try to stop thinking sometimes, but until you figure something out, you tend to just dwell. What I've discovered is that I am missing some big women in my life; some I can't get back [RIP Grandma Bliss…I think of you this time of year, so so much.  In every leaf that falls, memories of us pressing wax paper together, walks in the woods and silly songs and many many hidden gum drops. If only little Brooke could experience that with you!! Love you so much.]    Grandma Owl-- I know you read this silly blog, and know how much I miss our bowling dates on Saturdays, with yummy fries and LOTS of ketchup.  You taught me to sip English tea with the best, and that traveling is so important.  There is so much to see out there!   Mom -- if this flooding isn't a sign I don't know what is. Through everything we've gone through, you've always been a great mom.  I miss you…  And Mama D…I love you and miss you so much.  I know when the time is right, we will reunite.  

Don't get me wrong…my friendships close, near, far, and my sister and step mom are wonderful, but I just feel incomplete in some ways.  I couldn't be more thankful for all that my step mom does for me and my family.  She is literally the backbone, or matriarch of our family right now.  I literally have no one else at times and that is a huge responsibility. And silly though it sounds, I met a new mommy friend at a park on Monday.  We even exchanged numbers!  Her husband owns a coffee shop, she has a daughter who is 2.5 and is a month out from having a baby boy!  Tell me that's not awesome?!

So after going back and forth and wondering what the hell is my purpose here on earth, why do I feel like I should go back to work, why am I longing for something?  It's all kind of clicking and working itself out, like it always does.  When you force things, they never seem right.  When you open up and allow your dreams to flow, it's amazing at the circumstances that come through.  

Wow.  If you're still reading, thanks!! So to be totally honest, I was just going to share a few photos and my excitement for my new phone--holla!!  Excuse my not showered, no makeup look…#hotness

But I clearly had something to get off my chest…again…I just love writing.  And these two?!  It's an all day every day game of let's trash the house so mommy has something to do!  But really, how can I mind when they are so cute?!  He is starting to really grow and climb all over his sissy.  I can't stand it! Ok, I can, but baby boy, I fear your baby days are slipping away faster than I could ever have imagined.

I've been upping my workouts/moving.  Thanks to a sweet friend Lindsay, she's doing #32octstrollermiles It sounded doable and as much as I would love to be a runner?  These two in our beastly non jogging stroller, a walk is suffice to me.  Plus Brooke gets out and plays a lot, walks, grabs sticks…so we take our time and enjoy the Fall.

So there you have it.  I'm back, and excited for all that is to come.  Rejuvenated with a fresh air about me, that I wasn't sure I would find again!  But for the love of all things, just follow your heart and find what makes you happy and whole.  And stop trying to be something you are not.  I think one of the best advice I heard yesterday on a Laura Vitale vlog-- do what is best for you.  She was talking about weight and how she works out every day, but she will never have Katy Perry's body or a VS model, but that she is okay with that because she isn't a model or a singer.  She is actually a cook and in great shape for all the cooking and testing she does!! And it hit me hard when I heard that.  It's so easy to troll instagram and FB and compare, compare, compare.  But we are just one person with 24 hours in a day…and we all have different things that make us happy and that we have to just pick a few things and focus on them.  It's okay to try on different hats, but sometimes, a certain hat just isn't for you.  

Blogging makes me happy…so blog I shall.

Happy Hump day friends!! 

Phone Dump {random thoughts}

So, I know this about myself. I get into an idea and become, um…obsessed.   My newest obsession is how I want to set up our "new" playroom! We are having carpets measured today and I just am SO excited to have a place to play/learn with the kids that is NOT our living room.  I think this will be very important for several reasons…one being that I can't hang stuff on our living room walls for "tot school" and two, so that hubby and I don't feel like we are relaxing in a day care center.

I saw this on insta and love the simplicity and colors!

I am also still daydreaming about our home building.  I am IN LOVE with this.  Maybe down the road…

I want to try this…sounds evil, and delicious.

Can I just tell ya how much I needed my "5 hours away" last Friday? It was just long enough to pick out carpet, grab sushi and get my hairs did…but it was so so so worth it.  I may be a tad excited that we now have 2 more little dates on the calendar for August. I just can't get enough of this one-on-one time with my man!

I'm super happy with the color and the length I'm at.  #awkwardselfie

I'm trying to focus on positives, so I'm gonna do just that.  I am not working out as much as I like, but chasing after/walking with and playing with Brooke and the baby certainly burn some cals.  I am 7 months postpartum and so happy with how I'm feeling and looking. I know I still have a way to go, but considering all that I am doing, I had to just give myself a round of applause.

The stretch marks aren't going anywhere, but they are fading, and my 'muffin top' is certainly shrinking.   I swear by my Advo supplements and trying to eat fairly healthy.

Current products:

-MNS E
-Catalyst 3, 3x a day
-Thermoplus
-Crave Check
-Rehydrate
-Spark
-Meal Replacement Shakes

I eat 5-6 small meals, mostly protein/veggies/fruits and complex carbs.  Like I said the other day though, I have my moments where lunch has been a glass of wine and a brownie.  (When Joe is here, not when I'm alone with the kids! ha) but really, I don't suggest that as an every day thing.  But I am just trying to keep it real and be honest.

And Monday?  Yesterday? It was a downright doozie.  It was super hot and the kids were just off.  I think it's hard because we come off Sunday of family time and then Joe's out the door at 8:10…and not home last night until 10.  It. Was. Long.

We went grocery shopping in the am, and then tried to stay inside and play, but after dinner I had to breathe some fresh air.  Brooke and her wild and crazy curly blonde hair...

So many mixed emotions with two littles.  I just want to give them the best of me, all the time, and I know that is just not possible. I am human and they are needy, so I really just need to learn to breathe and be content with what I can do for them.  I can't physically rock the baby to sleep and put Brooke down at the same time, shocking right?? Bed time is the hardest…they both crash around the same time and I'm trying different things like Brooke first, then Bradley or Bradley first then Brookie….but I just haven't quite figured out that piece of our daily puzzle yet.

This one is still spitting up a ton…all day long.  Happy chucker I guess is what you'd call it, but it's still a lot of puke for anyone to deal with and a lot, and I mean A LOT of laundry.  Since he's trying to crawl, he seems to be spitting up more and more.  But he's a happy dude, so I hope it'll pass…I read maybe by the time he is 1 and walking??  But it's super frustrating to give him a bath, have him nice and clean, feed him a bottle, have him almost asleep and then puke all over himself.  Doesn't make for a fun evening.

I was for sure in a straight up mommy funk yesterday and didn't like myself very much.  I feel a lot better today and tried to set my intentions for the day and count all my blessings when I went on a small walk with Holly.  I try to focus on the fact that nothing is terribly wrong and that a lot of mommas are waaaaay to hard ourselves and we just need to remember we are doing the best we can.  I have two healthy beautiful children, and my husband and I are in good health *knock on wood* and we have a lot to be grateful for.  Sometimes in the 4 walls of your home, I think you can become a little stir crazy and I know that I start to compare myself to all the pinterest perfections out there and the reality is, life is never picture perfect…there are times it is messy and we are vulnerable and it's OKAY!! We need to just recognize our inner voices and let that come out in some form.  For me it's writing, so I even put pen to paper yesterday and poured my thoughts out…something I had not done in awhile. Things I don't really want to share with anyone, other than my husband, but sometimes they need to be voiced.  

I am so grateful for friends too…other mommas who just get it.  The day in and day out of mom life isn't always sunshine and roses, and if you're doing a good job, you probably think you aren't.   I found this article and shared it with a friend who is toddler/baby mom…I thought maybe others would maybe find it useful too.  <here>

What do you do when you feel like you're in a funk? How do you snap yourself out of it?

Little of This and That

I miss blogging!! More than anything, I know I will miss what was going on when I go to look back!! Isn't that one of the best reasons to blog? I just love reading through old "entries" and seeing what I was up to a year or two, three…ago.

 Brooke has been boycotting her eggs in the morning. I think she would like them with lots of cheese, but I'm "that mom" and I try to limit stuff like cheese.  And she loves her cheese stick snacks! So, I saw these in our organic section---I'll be honest, I tried one and it tastes kinda blah, but I pour in a little bit of vanilla almond milk (organic) and she LOVES it.  She's pretty messy eating it, but yay for finding another breakfast food!

I think she eats more than I eat right now.  It's crazy!

Seriously, this one just cracks me up so much! I can't even capture all of the funny moments, like yesterday as she looked up at me while I was cutting a pineapple, she was sticking penne pasta up her nose.  It took all of me not to laugh and to just tell her how inappropriate it was!  Last night before bed, she started to lick my face---no clue where she learned that from either. She is such a ham.  I was trying to do my hair Saturday and this is the sulk I got because I couldn't read her the book right then and there.

She is starting to dress herself…#frozeneverything

I tried on one of his new hats while I was folding the laundry; it looks like it is fitting perfectly at the moment--I am not sure for how long though!? 6-9 months size.

We are LOVING the warmer temps! It's in the 60s, so we keep blankets on him, but he is rocking a six month short/polo combo.

Tuesday we went to the mall and Brookie got some new summer clothes!! She is already into 5T or XS girls.  I still cannot believe how big she is!  I also wanted to get her some new shades and sun hat to protect her fair skin.  She has skin like mine, so we burn very easily.  Childrens Place had some wonderful clothes and I think it's safe to say she's set (until I see something else she just needs to have ha!) Shopping for the kids is so much fun.

However, I will say that Old Navy had some girls' cut off shorts that I just don't think are appropriate. I am that mom, already, I told you.  Oy.  We are gonna have a long road ahead with fashion and technology, etc I am sure, but I am ready!  One day at a time though.  For now,  I'm just trying to get her to use the potty and pick up toys. haha!

So that's the latest scoop!  Totally started this post on Thursday, but now it's Friday…I ended up making dinner for hubby and all the people he works with, since so many of them are out sick, some  (like my man) got stuck working over time.  They really enjoyed my Man pleasing Chicken, Jasmine Rice  (throw it into a rice cooker, boo ya!) , tomato salad and Apple Spice Cake.  Much better than any fast food joint!  And, I just love taking care of other people.  Probably one of the main reason my husband and I get along so well.  However, everyone needs to recharge, and I must say that my 20 minute hot shower just hit the spot!! Mom life is no joke and I may have texted my hubby a picture of my favorite wine, that is calling my name…so maybe he'll stop by and grab me a bottle.  :D  Although, a shower wine would have been nice, but let's be real.  It's only 1:30 in the afternoon.

TGIF my loves!  

Real Life, Real Talk

I was recently asked, "How do you do it?? You always seem to have it together.  I am almost 41 and I still can't figure it out?!?!"

I honestly stopped in my tracks.

I never thought I was one of those "perfectionist bloggers/instagrammers" where all looks perfect rainbows and butterflies.  I really consider myself a real person, with problems and imperfections.  I don't have a Louis Vuitton bag, or red bottom heels.  I don't whip up Giada-perfect dinner every night. I certainly don't look like I'm walking the runway around these parts.

My reply to her was, "I am flattered that you think that, but I am far from perfect!"

It got me to thinking…

There is a lot that I don't do, but what I do, do, I try my hardest to do it well.

I tend to not photograph or document my less than perfect areas, because they're not pretty.  And honestly? I like pretty!! Sometimes the dust bunnies that collect are just downright tragic, thanks to an overly shedding "lab" mix, I swear there is part husky in her.  I don't ever post ugly photos of my messy closet/future nursery, office, or basement because they're utterly embarrassing.

Not gonna lie, this pregnancy threw me for a loop and it has been SUPER tough just keeping up with the housework, groceries, cooking, and taking care of Brooke, the dogs and Joe.

Brooke's room is somewhat tidy, but it is no where near pinterest/blogger nursery status.  There are empty diaper boxes, missing shoes, broken toys, and probably a dirty diaper stuck some place. No, I kid. I'd smell that thing.

My floors are so dirty sometimes, I don't feel comfortable that my dogs eat off them, let alone if Brooke drops something and tries to eat it.

My laundry piles up and dishes sit in the sink.

I had a mini meltdown as I'm only 10 weeks pregnant and suddenly not fitting into my normal clothes.  I put my maternity clothes on and well, they're obviously a little too big.  I feel frumpy and dumpy, but I know I am very blessed to carry this baby, so it is what it is. Be happy.

My poor husband's washcloth hadn't been changed in who knows how long; let's just say he never asks for a new one, so it must have been awhile.

The last "meal" I made with all the fixings was…

::crickets::

That's a good question.

I did just take the dogs on a walk Sunday night, and it was most likely before our May vacation, or somewhere around then, that happened.

Throughout the 6 1/2 years I have known my husband, the only and I mean ONLY request he ever asks 100% of the time, is that I keep a good attitude.  I am not perfect on this one either, ladies, you know how crazy hormones can make us…or simply a series of bad day events.  I have been known to have some real cranky pants in my day, but the older I'm getting and the more Brooke is watching, my attitude is something I really work hard on trying to control.

I do believe that social media has its perks and I just LOVE the fact that I can google,

"How to remove crayon from microsude" in seconds.

But the comparing ourselves to others, has just got to stop and I kinda did. I admit, I roll my eyes and feel bad from time to time, but I just keep trying to sink in further to the purpose of life; the whole reason we are here. I haven't quite figured it out, but I know that it's not in a Pinterest inspired craft, or a photo-shopped picture of a perfectly groomed family on a beach.

I think it's more along the lines of, sticky pieces of granola in my daughter's chubby little fingers.

It's in the way the dogs chase one another and the rug slides back and forth.

It's in the warmth of an embrace, after we've both had a long hard day, and my husband and I can finally see each other again.

I will tell you a few of my 'secrets'.  What are some ways I help make my life a little easier?

1.)  Pay someone else

Dinner or Lunch?
Grass cutting?
Landscapers?
Dog Walker?

Whatever is stressing you…it may just be worth carving a little bit out of your budget for this.

I hire a cleaning service.

This. Took. A lot. Of. Guts.

I was so afraid of what other people would think, "you stay home all day, what more could you need??"

Well, if you do stay home all day, have two dogs, and a toddler, you know that your house does and will get a heck of a lot dirtier than if the dogs were crated, the baby is at day care and you're at work.

Life is messy.

I started having someone come over once a month right around the 7th or 8th month of my pregnancy.  I figured no one could really say boo to me, when I could hardly bend over and the shower was rather disgusting.

Then of course, I had newborn, and I didn't know my ass from a hole in the ground for awhile; so that was very very helpful!

Now I have a 17 month old and each month I still write a check for $136.08 and that is the BEST amount of money I spend all month.

To be honest, my husband is kind of messy. So is my daughter. So are my dogs. And well, I'm no angel either.  I hate cleaning the tubs and there is something about someone else helping out with the floors that just puts my mind at ease.  They're all natural green products, so that makes me feel good as well.

Joe loves a super clean house, and I still keep up with the floors every week and try my best to keep it tidy.  But man, when cleaning day rolls around, it is worth every cent.

So I am over caring what someone thinks of me.  Now I can play with Brooke, catch up on the mountains of laundry, work on my Advo Biz (which more than help pays for that cleaning), and heck, pound out a few blog posts all because someone else did my dirty work.

2.) Meal Plan

I used to meal plan; that needs to happen again. I am much better if I have it all written out and ready to go.  I just haven't been feeling well enough to think about food, let alone shopping for and preparing it.

3.) Schedule yourself "me" time.

I know girls, it's tough to sneak out of the house with an empty carseat, BUT YOU HAVE TO.  Whether it's a nail appointment for an hour, a hair appointment, a movie date with your girlfriend, you have to just put you on the calendar and go. No feeling guilty.  No canceling.  Joe really respects this and I work around his crazy schedule, but I still make sure I get out once in awhile.  Even to Target or the mall, or a park, GO.  If hubby is busy, just start asking friends, offer to trade nights with them to watch their kids or go after your family.  People actually like helping others out!  It's OK to ask for help.  Let me say that again, it's okay to ask for help.

4.) Surround Yourself with Positive Energy

This is tough. I feel like I have isolated myself a bit…sometimes I am cranky, and I need to work on myself, so I listen to my audiobooks.  Sometimes people in my life seem to frustrate me and it's ok to take time outs.  Listen to happy songs.  Take your kids to the beach or park.  Read or watch only happy functioning people, and limit drama and dirt.  It really helps…

5.)  Lower expectations.

If you set that bar too high, you will disappoint yourself.  Just continue to be the best you can be; that is all.  Who cares if…exactly. Fill in the blank. There is always someone doing something better than you.  We cannot do it all, ALL OF THE TIME.  So just do what you can, smile and move on.  Sitting there stewing on how terrible you are at something, only makes you more mad, upset, and no fun to be around.  So just set one goal for the day, and follow through.

6.)  Don't like something? Change it.

Sounds easy, because it is.  I was so annoyed and mad at my hair, and was hanging onto it for what?  Joe actually really loves my new do, he even says I look younger; score!  I was afraid that changing it would make it worse, but really, I haven't been upset at all.  Same goes for your weight, your energy level, your lack of this or that…just do something different! Sitting in a rocking chair just bitching about it, aint gonna fix it. Sorry!

7.) Find what makes you happy.

What is that puts a smile on your face?  When I kept saying out loud to myself this past April, "Something's gotta give, what can I do to just be happy??"  I figured it out and started doing it.  It was spending more time, more quality and appreciative time with Brooke.  That's just one thing, there's lots to make me happy. I love reading a good book.  I keep a list of all the books I want to read and check them out at the library.  Now I just need to stay awake long enough to read!!  I also love to write; I love this little blog and that's it's a journal/scrapbook of memories, but it's also a place where I can let out some real thoughts and I want to take that a bit deeper; I feel like there's a lot to say that is still inside of me and I need to continue to let that out.

8.)  Turn off that phone.

Whatever way you do it, delete the apps, put it on airplane mode, leave it at home when you're out and about or just turn it off.  I find myself getting so sidetracked and distracted it ends up taking me FOREVER to finish a simple task.

9.)  Get outside.

The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.

Anne Frank

Trust me, I know how hard it is when it's below 30 degrees and you have a little one. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about having a newborn in January again.  Winter can be long and lonesome, but now that Brooke will be older, I know she will LOVE the snow, sledding, building a snowman and having snowball fights.  We will enjoy hot cocoa and have so much fun!  For now? We will soak up the sun and I will be taking her to the beach this week. It's so good for both of our souls to get outdoors.  Everyone's mood seems to change in nature…

“Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

[I really hate to rush; If I find myself rushing a lot, I hit the pause button.  I don't even like when I'm in a conversation with someone and trying to tell a story and she keeps interrupting, "Uh huh. OK. Yeah." Just let me finish!!]

Ok there are actually a ton of fabulous quotes…just go check them out! HERE and Here

10.)  Breathe

When all else fails and I want to scream, I just learn to breathe.  Inhale, exhale…"this too shall pass."   

Or?  One of my favorites, "Fake it til you make it."  

Everyone has parts of their life they are unhappy about or too embarrassed to instagram. I PROMISE YOU.  So just be happy for others and their pretty photos, and be proud of yourself, in this very moment of your life, find something to be happy and grateful for.  It will change you.  Remember, negativity breeds negativity and optimism breeds optimism! 

I'm just sharing what came to mind when I thought about, what makes me "seem to have it all together."  These are just things that I try to focus on and maybe they could help you too, in some ways.  But trust me, I still have days where Brooke has Annie's Easy Mac and Cheese, my plants are dying, I run the washer two times because I forgot about a load, and the dog water dish has probably been empty all.day.long.  Oops.

Everyone is alive and well!  I'm here to tell ya that.

What tips do you focus on when trying to keep yourself together?

Oh, and if you're wondering, Mr. Clean magic erasers quickly remove crayon from microsuede. #yourewelcome

The Day our Dogs Failed an Interview

Last Friday Holly and Sadie had an interview.  Ya heard correctly.  An interview.  There is a kennel not too far from here that everyone raves about. The dogs are free to run around in a room/outdoor pen with other dogs during the day. It's like  a day camp for dogs.  However, the dogs need to get along and pass the interview.

Now mind you, I know our dogs; I know our dogs VERY well. I love them dearly, but sometimes they can be rather high maintenance. And while running around with other dogs is great in theory, I just knew it wasn't in the cards for our pups.

I got there and realized I hand't filled out the damn applications, so that took some time.  Meanwhile, Holly got kind of nervous and pooped right there on the floor.  I stepped in it since I was busy filling out the forms, and the girl didn't say anything until I realized what happened.

Awesome.

I had to put new collars on them that "breakaway"…[luckily I did not have to pay for them]

The dogs get separated small is under 35 pounds and large is over.

Sadie did okay; they introduce dogs one at a time and her hair stood up and then went down.  She walked around and was like "whatever".  No biggie.

Holly on the hand, is just a freakshow.  I thought she would be aggressive or naughty, but she was actually so so nervous.  She paced back and forth and ran laps…it was not good.  She got the other dogs wound up, but never settled down.

Sorry I failed mama!!

They took her out and back in again on a leash, but she still was not happy.  Since they're all animal behavior specialists, they don't like the dogs getting stressed out etc.  So they said we could try again another day, but in so many words, our dog failed the interview.

They then proceeded to let me know that Sadie was licking the ear of another dog: a German Shepherd.  I sheepishly smiled and said, "No, I am sure she was licking the AIR next to the other dog." You know, because it's normal for dogs to lick the air. Incessantly. Not kidding.

"You're kidding me with that place, right?!"

The lady gave me a weird look and I just tried to get out of there as fast as I possibly could.

I was supposed to drop them off for the day and then go get my skin consultation done by Joe's cousin Mary at this beautiful little European-like spa.

Instead I had to call and reschedule {explaining my fabulous morning} and they got quite a kick out of it!!  I brought the dogs home and counted down the minutes until 4:00.

I LOVED Waterlily.  It was so nice to learn about some anti-aging processes and newer skin care lines. I was so relaxed and happy…{the goodies I bought are an entire different blog post!}

Only to come home to find out little miss Brooke gave Dada a run for his money! They went to the mall and walked around; and she pooped. Normally not a big deal, but Dada doesn't deal well with poo and he didn't bring the diaper bag. {I know, right?!}

So he got her home and by that time it was all over her diaper and she must have eaten something that didn't agree because it was the third time that day and not quite normal.  All I know is that her clothes were in the tub, poo everywhere and she was running around buck naked.

She then proceeded to dump the dog water all over the floor.

I may have ended the day with a glass of Pinot or two  and started really counting down the days until St. Martin.  It's all funny looking back on it, but seriously?! What a day.

Gotta love life with animals and kids!!

Needless to say, I will be boarding our dogs at our traditional kennel (which they love and do well at) and I will stay out longer than 2 hours next time…so that all is cleaned up and well when I get home! LOL

A Bad Read

I've been really making time to read more.  Like I shared a few posts ago, I even stopped at the library. Can I just tell you how HAPPY I am that I did not waste my money [bad enough that I wasted my time] on a book??

I was all excited to find out that the new Brandi book Drinking and Dating {yes, she's a Beverly Hills Housewife, but not really because she's single.  That should have been my first clue} and I loved her last book.  I remember it wasn't long after having Brooke and I wasn't feeling well; I snuggled up with some chai tea and chuckled my way through it.

This book?

Utter crap.

How did it get 4 stars?

Have I really changed that much in a year?

I think I made it to page 30 before I was like what the heck am I doing?? Reading that book was like nails on a chalk board. Now, I don't quite get it, because like I said, I loved her last sarcastic, snooty, blatant and inappropriate talk.  This time however, I was over it in 2.2.  I think what did it for me was when she told her reader, "Oh and if you're happily married, you can just go eff yourself."  Again, language doesn't bother me; I get that it is important for people to express themselves, but this chick is so miserable and just whined about the same damn thing for 30 pages straight.

Maybe it got better.

Most likely it got worse.

But I just felt compelled to share my feelings…

It is very much like eating junk food.  {reading negative garbage like that}  It seems all harmless and in good fun, but then after you're done, you're asking yourself why?  I now feel worse than when I first started.   Like a few months ago when my girlfriends came over and we ordered pizza and garlic bread and I didn't take carb ease and I FELT HORRIBLE.  Like not emotionally horrible but physically just hurt.  Bad. Bad. Bad.  My stomach was upset and I could barely carry a conversation...Haven't done that again!!

Odd comparison.  Call me crazy.  But I returned that stupid book right back to the library for another person to read.  

I am really enjoying The Noticer and I am still picking up Hands Free Mama {which I am also applying to "wife" -- when hubby and I are together I leave my phone at home!!}


I don't have a ton of free time and so I guess when I do decide to read, I will be a little more aware of what I'm feeding my mind.  I love the way The Noticer makes me think and I enjoy bringing that into a conversation with friends, family or my husband.

Just food for thought…I'm not judging, like I said I had full intentions of enjoying that book, but man… If I want to hear about someone's pathetic love life, well, actually I don't. So yes Brandi, I will go "eff myself."

Have you stopped reading a book or watching tv because it's just bad for you!?!?  Please tell me I'm not the only one.

What good books are you ladies reading lately?