Bradley's Birth Story

So how about those "gnarly braxton hicks" I wrote about here, were indeed actual contractions?!  After I put Brooke to bed, I started feeling them more and more frequently.  I decided to try to relax and chill out, knowing this could be a long ride to the finish line.  I told Joe at some point, ya you're not going to work tomorrow (on Saturday 17th) because either baby boy was going to come, or I would be laboring all day and knew I wouldn't be able to handle Brooke and my contractions.  I don't think he really believed me…

So I took a bath a little after 8.  I tried to just breathe and enjoy some quiet time, but I will tell you I did not enjoy contracting in our bathtub.  Maybe if it were a whirlpool jet tub or even bigger, I may have, but I was just not feeling it.  So I drank my pineapple juice and inhaled my lavender essential oil and got out.

I laid upstairs in our bedroom, which I find the most tranquil; Joe was playing his video games and I just tried again to relax/listen to sleep meditation on you tube, again hoping to get some rest before going into active labor.  Once he came up to bed, I went down to the couch because I wanted him to get some rest…

Well, my night sort of looked like this.  The hard part about the timer is that when you're having a contraction, it can be tricky to hit the start button---I fumbled with this stupid thing for awhile, trying to see if I had any rhyme or reason to my contractions.

At some point I took a shower, washed my hair, and told Joe I thought we should get ready and go in…it was like 2 in the morning or something and he told me to no! LOL  Since this happened with Brooke and we were sent home, he said just go lay down and see what happens.  As much pain as I was in, and and as worried that this would go on for days again like Brooke's, I obliged.  I blew dry my hair, and tried to sleep in between my contractions.  They did slow down again about 7-8 mins apart.  

What I was noticing, was that my contractions started in the back, wrapped around to my front and ended in nausea.  I always felt like I was going to throw up at the very end of it.  It sounded like the real deal to me!

I did sip on some rehydrate and had one piece of dry toast around 4 am. [still sitting on the counter when I got home from having baby boy…doh!]

By 7 am, I called my Dr. and he said I can always come in, but if I'm not dilated enough, I will be sent home.  I was still getting contractions, but since they were not consistent, I decided to try and hold out awhile longer. I went back upstairs to Joe around 7:30 and I think I slept for about a half an hour.

***NOTE TO EVERYONE---Your contractions may never be text book "5 minutes apart for one hour, one minute long"--mine weren't! I am glad I listened to my gut and got going to the hospital eventually!

By 8:30/8:45, Brooke woke up (randomly slept in that morning!) and Joe was asleep.  I tried to take care of her but I really started feeling terrible and could barely function, so I woke Joe up, kind of teary and said he needed to take care of her, or we could call his mom but I could not give her breakfast or get her dressed.

By 9:35 I called his Mom and was in so much pain, I mumbled through the conversation stating something like, we need to bring Brooke to you, and even if they send me home I just need to know if I've progressed at all because I am in SO much pain and can barely breathe through these contractions! It helped that a few friends on Instagram, as well as my mother, encouraged me to go in just to see…because you really just never know.

My sweet husband took his time, ironing his clothes, taking a shower, and finally getting our toddler dressed.  He even took a silly video, where he's commentating, Brooke is running around, and I am on the yoga ball breathing and eventually yelling up to him, "GET HER DRESSED LET'S GO NOW!"

Why the sudden panic?  I started feeling pressure in my butt.  Now, not to be TMI but when you're in early labor, your body does its thing and really empties out.  There was nothing more in me.  But I had this insane pressure in my bottom, ya know the one that will eventually give ya the urge to push?  So, when I felt that, and I told my mom…she said get to the hospital.

There was no time for me to go with Joe to drop Brooke off at my in-laws, I had him just drop me right off at the hospital!! I just had tunnel vision and breathed through the contractions in the truck, on the way to the hospital.  I looked at the clock and they were coming about every 4 minutes.  I got out of the truck, waddled into the hospital, took the green elevators up to the third floor and checked myself in.  I had a contraction while signing in, that was awesome, especially when some dude interrupted and needed a visitor pass.  HELLO, I am in LABOR people.

I finally walk down to triage, pee in a cup, get undressed and hooked up to the monitors.  There is no sweeter sound than hearing baby boy's heartbeat.  And there I laid from 10:50 until 11:15 when they finally came in and checked me.  It felt like an ETERNITY!! I'm sure it felt longer because I was alone.  Joe had taken Brooke to grab some breakfast bagels and then to his parents house.  I had several contractions while laying there, which excited me because with Brooke, whenever I went to Triage, they completely stopped…and I felt like a fool! These bad boys were still comin and still super painful.

Literally as I texted him at 11:17, "I am 5cm!! 100%!! We are having a baby" I heard him walk in and ask for me.  The look on his face was priceless, as he really thought I would be sent home.  {He didn't even wear his green sweatshirt he had picked out and had all ready to wear, the same one he wore for Brooke's birth, because he didn't think that was going to be the day.}

After the midwife checked me, she was rather shocked because, and I quote, "Your contractions didn't look like much on the monitor."  So while I'm yelling, whining, breathing, and in excruciating pain, they're out in the front of the room watching my contractions like no big deal.   Thanks ladies.

Either way, when they realized how far I was, and knew I wanted an epidural {I may have been asking for one as soon as I arrived} it was go time. A team of people rushed in, hooked my IVs up, made sure I got my antibiotic for GBS+ because I had to have that for 4 hours before I could deliver.  Once I was all situated, the nurse and Joe walked me to my room.  Gillian was my nurse and she was seriously, hands down the best person I could have gotten!! Absolutely amazing.  She told me if I needed to stop and have a contraction I could, I was like eh I'm ok…yeah well, I probably went from my 5cm to the 7 right there in the hallway because SHEEEWWEEEE that was a doozie!! Holy cow.   I wished I had some better breathing techniques because I never went through this much labor without medicine with Brooke.  I had the morphine and then my very strong epidural…so this pain was all new to me.

Finally around 12:30 or so I got my epidural.  By then I was 7cm, and it only ended up doing me some good because once I got to 9cm, I started really feeling crazy pressure and back labor.  I had heard others talk about back labor, but I had NO clue how terrible it was!  At least for an hour or two I was able to rest a bit, enjoy some lemon ice and a popsicle.  My dad and step mom came and even my sister was able to make it!!  My mother in law stopped up too, but I was in so much pain I was probably not very fun to be around when she came in! Sorry Mama D.

I think it was around 3:30 when my last dose of antibiotics was administered and shortly after that I felt like I had to push.  The Dr came in and said I was at 9.5 cm but after she broke my water (which was nothing like when my water broke with Brooke! No gush or anything) I went back to a 9 so I still had one more cm to go.  

The nurse had me lay on my left side, then right side, and try to get baby boy into the right position because he was still posterior.  That's what was causing the back labor…so I had the nurse pushing/massaging my lower back and Joe was trying to coach me through each contraction/breathing.

By almost 4:30 I was laying on my left side, Joe was right by me and I almost fell asleep.  Then all of a sudden I literally felt the baby drop into position and I screamed, the baby is coming!! I have to push!! The nurse said it's ok, and calmed me down…rang for the Dr and and checked me and said, oh yes, his head is right there…if you need to push it's ok..

My actual active labor was 12 minutes.  It felt like an hour, but 12 minutes really?!  My contractions had been right on top of each other, but when I went to push, they spaced out and it was as if my body gave me a minute and a half to just focus and rest until the next one.

In those 12 minutes I started having self-doubt, I worried I wasn't going to be able to push him out, I wanted to ask for a C-section because it hurt so darn bad…but then I re-focused and made myself think positively.  I knew I could do it, I had done it with Brooke.  I did yell out, "GET THIS BABY OUT OF ME!" at one point, and the Dr. did give me an episiotomy because I was starting to tear. Once she did that, I think I did 2 or 3 pushes and he was OUT.

1.17.15
at 4:46
8 lbs 14 oz
21 inches

Bradley Joseph made his debut.

I was so happy to have the skin to skin this time as it made the after birth experience a lot better.  Joe even cut the cord and baby was on me for a good half hour-45 minutes or so.

Daddy was so proud of me and so proud to hold you baby boy.

I may have made everyone cry when I played, Brad Paisley's "Anything Like Me" song when Daddy held you.

I think you even smiled for your first family photo.

So, with that, we completed our family.  I am so grateful for such an amazing team of nurses, midwives and once again an excellent Dr.  We truly had a wonderful birth experience and it's so cool to compare both Brooke and Bradley's debuts.  Each baby is so different, but most of all I am so thankful for once again such a healthy babe.  I felt so much better not having all that morphine in my system and even though the epidural wasn't strong enough from keeping me from moving my legs, I think it was better since I was able to feel more and push a lot more efficiently this time around. 

Thank you for all the love, support, prayers and positive vibes---they worked!!  

Now to raise a little boy…boy oh boy!!  

41 Week Checkup: Induction Set

Alrighty then… Friday evening and we are almost 41 weeks! I feel like writing it all down this time, maybe so I remember all these crazy details…I don't know, but here we go.  I had my appointment today and the Dr was shocked to see me; I told her I was surprised to be here still!

Stats:

I haven't gained any weight in like 2-3 weeks!

2cm Dilated
80% effaced

Induction is scheduled.

I will go in Monday 1/19 and have him by Tuesday 1/20.  That is, if he doesn't come on his own!


I am still fighting off this cold, but oh my gosh, am I having some pretty gnarly braxton hicks!! Maybe they're a bit more like pre-labor contractions, but there is no rhyme or reason.  They're reminding me of the ones I had with Brooke Tues-Thurs before I went in for morphine and my water broke!  So, this could make for an interesting night.  They were so intense I'd say they woke me up 4-5 times last night every few hours.  Today they've come a few times I put the contraction timer on my phone, but nothing specific. Some every 20 mins and then nothing for an hour or two.  If they continue all day tomorrow while Joe is at work and I'm with Brooke by myself that could be awesome too… yikes!  On one hand having a toddler makes me try to not focus on them because she needs me.  She needs to eat, diapers changed, nose wiped, etc. etc.  Every time I sit, I get right back up to take care of something, so on one hand that is good because I know last time when I was pregnant with her, it just consumed me! Now I just breathe through them, they're pretty intense! It's so weird how every person goes through such different labors.  My kids just like to take their time and sort of torture me haha.

I've been living on soup (finally made my homemade chicken stock/soup) and bagels.  Kind of just all I want right now…lots of tea and liquids.

I made my final solo venture out (after my appointment that is) to go grab Joe's meds.  I decided to stock up on my postpartum essentials, ya know those super sexy things like hemroid/numbing spray, witch hazel Tucks pads, prep H wipes, huge maxi pads, epsom salt to bathe in, some new mascara, a Glamour magazine and eye shadow because I and to balance out the stool softeners.  #keepinitreal  I am being very optimistic that I will indeed need all of these items like last time and will not have a C section.  I am really trying to stay calm about all of it.

So I have, at the very most, all of Saturday, Sunday and Monday.  I can do this! Joe is taking off Monday to help get us ready, take care of Brooke while I go to the Non-stress test and check on baby once again.  We will then drop her off and head to the hospital to bring baby boy into the world!!

Kinda weird to have a plan in place, but I am so relieved to know this is the deal.  If I deliver Tuesday my favorite Dr will be on call too.  My practice usually has me see all the doctors all throughout the pregnancy, but this time I mostly saw one, until these last few weeks…but Dr Thomas is from Jamaica and I really get along well with him.  Although last time I had Dr Piquain from France and she was pretty cool too.  I had never met her, as she works at another office, but she was great. Anyway, I am very confident with knowing he'll be there.

This also means by Wednesday I can have sushi!!!!!! Wahoo! I'm drooling thinking about it haha.

My ring sling came today so I've been braiding it, playing with Brooke in it and really trying to break it in.  I put her doll in it and I really think I'm going to love it!  It will be perfect to tuck him in and carry him/nurse him around in.

It's kind of fun to see my husband's reactions to all of this.  It is crazy because we've been talking about this baby since May and now we KNOW he will be home by next weekend.  I can't wait to see him hold his son!!    All these emotions are a lot and I have a reel of memories constantly playing in my head.  From my sister's birthday where I kept saying, "It's the perfect storm!" to St. Martin, the first few nauseated months, and the last uncomfortable weeks…I walked by pregnancy tests at CVS today and I was like wow, never again!! So surreal and yet I am ready.

As for all of our colds, Brooke seems to be doing a lot better today!! She still has a runny nose and a cough, but she was running around and dancing and acting a lot better today.  Joe has the same dry cough that kept me up last time I was trying to sleep before having Brooke, and I felt the worst today.  So I am hoping tomorrow I am on the mend.  Seriously, don't have January babies in New York if you can help it haha! So many germs.  Oy.

I am going to rest and try to sleep as much as I can before "it happens" whenever that may be!  Again, keep up with me on instagram and twitter!  We appreciate any positive vibes and prayers. Thanks friends!!

Brooke's Birth Story: Part Trois {final}

It was One in the morning,

over twelve hours since my water broke.

And I was ready to begin the hardest event of my entire life.

I expected birthing a child to be difficult,

but until you experience it,

there is nothing like it.

At all.

Period.

It was intense, emotional, raw, real, magical, frustrating, and downright painful!

And just like every other mother, 

I sit here with tears in my eyes,

and I'd do it all over again,

just to hold this precious bundle in my arms.

From 1am until 2:34, I pushed, and pushed, and pushed...

I'll try to keep it as real, without being too gross,

let's face it;

somethings, you just need to go through on your own.

Me telling you, still won't prepare you for it.

The doctor that delivered Brooke,

was the same woman I spoke to early that morning who told me to come in.

I guess she was from France {I missed that memo?}
and doesn't work in the office I frequent...

but she was amazing.

She had the most intense eyes,

and really encouraged me, even when I felt like I couldn't push any more.

So to set the scene,

the room I spent all day in, 

was indeed the room I gave birth in and stayed in until we went home.

After the Dr checked me at 10cm,

she sat at the end of the bed,

told Joe to grab my left leg,

the nurse held my right...

and that was it.

For a good hour and fifteen minutes or so,

it was just the four of us...

and I pushed every 2 minutes.

I don't know why,

but in my head,

I had envisioned my husband standing up by my head,

feeding me ice chips,

getting a cool washcloth,

and telling me how great I was doing.

I had never thought he'd be right in on all of the action.

--This was a bit hard to digest, as to be honest, it was not always a 

'beautiful sight' down there...

and the vain side of me, never wanted him to see anything that 

would make me less attractive to him.

Plus a lot of guys at work told him not to 'look down there'

because it will change everything.

However, push came to shove, literally,

and there we were.

An intimate setting

and there was no turning back.

My body has completely amazed me throughout this journey.

Even with the epidural,

I felt the need to "bear down" and push, when it came time.

I would know when the time was coming,

before the monitors would alert the Dr to coach me through each contraction.

I would have some awesome pushes,

and some not so great pushes.

There's a certain way to push,

and you can literally see her head coming out...

you can't tense your legs,

you have to push from your bottom...

and you have to have the endurance.

I was so exhausted,

there were times I literally fell asleep between the 2 minute contractions.

I have never felt so tired in my entire life.

I told Joe that I appreciated him coaching me...

however, when he told me I wasn't pushing hard enough,

I may have accidentally grazed my knuckles on his chin??

I meant positive reinforcement, not Jillian Michaels.

Probably 15 minutes before little one was born,

the Dr put covers over her scrubs, with a hat,

and the room filled with people over by where baby would be checked out.

Joe asked if it was getting close,

and the Dr smiled, she said "I wouldn't be getting dressed if it weren't!"

The last few pushes were intense,

as the Dr let us know Brooke's heart rate was getting too high and she needed to come out.

I cannot tell you the feeling of how hard I pushed to get her out,

thinking that it was solely up to me to get her out, and bring her into this world.

At 2:34,

she finally made her grand entrance.
The ring of fire?
So very true.

The feeling of an entire being sliding out of your own body?

Indescribable. 

The miracle of birth?
It truly is.

As soon as she came out, they rushed her over to the other side of the room.

I had a brief glance at her being whisked away,

and just listened for a cry.

I heard one, but then a lot of commotion.

I guess she swallowed a lot coming out,

so they had to put the tube down her throat 

and I heard her gagging/coughing a lot of it up.

Since there was meconium in my waters,

it was essential they clear her lungs.

They kept her over on the other side for a half an hour.

That was the longest, hardest half hour of my life.

This was probably the only true downside of my birthing experiencing.

As I lay there,

being stitched up

{second degree episiotomy, which the Dr tried to avoid, but I needed}

by the doctor who delivered me and another male doctor,

I began to worry.

No one was telling me anything,

about baby,

about me,

what was going on?

Joe had gone over to be with Brooke,

but I was so confused.

When we had done the hospital tour months ago,

they made such a big deal about "skin to skin" contact

and that as soon as possible, I'd hold her.

A lot of people told me, I wouldn't feel the pain of stitches

or the after-birth,

because I'd be holding my sweet baby in my arms,

and everything else would fade away.

I want to say I made it 15 minutes,

and then I lost it.

I was sobbing uncontrollably and really upset.

I wish someone had just said something to me,

because I thought I was losing my mind.

Joe would come back over and say,

"10 fingers, 10 toes, she's beautiful,"

but I was a wreck.

All the while my family was taking pictures and standing in the doorway 

being able to at least see my daughter;

I'm not going to lie.

It's a mental struggle I'm still dealing with.
I held her in my womb for over 9 months,

and pushed her out.

And I didn't get to see her precious face, fingers, toes, body first.

But I have to focus on the fact that she was needing to be treated,

and that it may not be what I envisioned, but it is what it is.

I do know that I was glad Joe could go be next to her,

and that at one point she reached up and literally grasped his finger

with her little hand.

She weighed 8lbs 6oz
21 inches long
2:34am 1.11.13
***
When they finally brought her to me,

I continued to cry,

my swollen eyes and face...

looking down at her perfectly puffy pink face,

her little eyes looked up into mine and we were locked.

It was so emotional and nothing I've ever felt before.

I'll never forget that first moment holding my baby girl,

and realizing exactly what it means,

to be a mother.

That's what real life, not sleeping in over 4 days and giving birth looks like people.

And this is daddy holding his daughter for the first time:

 And I waited to be taken care of, so I could finally go to sleep...

and these two dozed off for a brief moment before a nurse came back in.

Next up...

leaving the hospital, first week post-partum, and all the joys of being a brand new mommy.

Brooke's Birth Story: Part Deux!

We stayed calm as we hopped in the truck and embarked,

yet again, on our way to the hospital.

I was not very hungry, but had forced a bagel down,

which I was beyond grateful that I had later on...

and Joe asked if he could stop and get breakfast at Panera.

I figured there was no rush, since nothing seemed to have changed in 

the past 48 hours, so we stopped briefly and were on our way.

Walking into the hospital during the daylight, 

it felt like a whole new place than the wee early morning hours the day before.

Everyone seemed happier,

friendlier,

and I felt a lot better this time around.

We checked into triage,

and I was still only 1cm dilated.

The nurses and midwives that day were so sweet and compassionate.

They said that I was experiencing "Prodromal Labor"

and they weren't sure why some people go through it,

but for some reason, something was fighting my body in its natural process of giving birth.

They suggested I stay in another room, take some morphine and rest.

The intention was to relax myself enough, so that perhaps my body could go into labor.

If not, then we'd talk about induction,

since at that point, I was done.

I couldn't take the pain any longer.

Now, those of you who know me, know that I am a fairly natural person.

I try my best to do Organic foods, no medicines, unless really necessary 

and all throughout pregnancy, I never so much took a Tylenol for a headache.

While I did plan on an epidural,

I had never in a million years thought I'd be on morphine prior to giving birth.
However,

it's 2013 and at this stage in the game, I was desperate. 

Around 10:00 am I was administered the medicine,

and I laid in a bed, while my husband sat next to me.

I was sort of in and out of a sleep, but never really fell into a deep sleep.

My contractions had slowed down and weren't so painful and I finally felt somewhat at ease.

Joe had a small cough and kept waking me up, so around noon he said he'd go home,

let our dogs out and let me get some sleep, since that was most important.

He kissed me goodbye,

got no further than the elevators,

and my water broke.

I quickly picked up my cell phone with one hand

and the hit the Nurse's call button with the other,

and couldn't help but think, they couldn't let me home now!

Joe came back in through the door and was so excited.

I tried to explain, it was most likely a fairly long road until we meet our sweet baby,

but yes, this was it!

The doctor came in and I was already dilated to 3-4 cm.

I was elated.

They walked me to my birthing suite,

and in I settled for the stay.

My first two nurses were absolutely amazing and I am so thankful

for them through the majority of my early stages of labor.

They told me that I was the "star of the show" and the only one giving birth that day!

Ironically enough, that was around noon...

by midnight, the hospital was full of women giving birth.

There weren't any vacant rooms,

and left and right women were having their babies well before I had mine.

{granted, they already had kids, so it wasn't their first childbirth}

The cause of the rush of pregnant women going into labor?
The nurses said since the weather was changing from cold to warm,

the barometric pressure drops...

and for some odd reason, it causes more women's waters to break.

Interesting?!

I didn't get much rest in between all of the Residents, Med students, nurses,

doctors, midwives coming in every other minute to check on me. 

  Our families started arriving 

and we could only have a total of 4 people in the room at a time.

I will be honest, and most of the day is a bit blurry.

I was in and out of sleep,

still a little groggy from the morphine,

and just so tired.

At one point they brought me a tray of liquids and I do recall being very excited over that!
Chicken broth, tea, juice, popsicles...

I received my epidural, and didn't feel a thing when the Dr. administered it.

I used the bathroom once more after that,

and then I had to get a catheter, which I did not enjoy.

I really did not want to receive Pitocin,

but it got to the point where I was not dilating past 4cm and after much discussion,

the Dr highly suggested that we get it and so I did.

It did make me dilate, and it caused the contractions to get a bit wacky.

Fortunately it didn't get out of control and I was able to deliver vaginally and not C-section.

Later into the night between 11-12:30 it was sort of like a mini party

{oddly enough}

but I had my phone playing Pandora {Jack Johnson station}

and my dad would watch the monitor and let me know in 10 seconds when my

next contraction would be coming.

I will admit, I thought the epidural would have made all the pain go away,

but I still had to breathe through each and every contraction.

The pressure you feel with an epidural is immense;

I cannot imagine those who go natural.

Bravo ladies; I commend you.

When this song came on Pandora:

I started crying and my husband even got a little teary eyed,

as it was 'our song for Brooke' when we first discovered we were pregnant.

I was so nervous I'd miscarry or something would happen,

and Joe was nervous to become a daddy,

but we'd play this song and know that
every little thing's gonna be alright...

 {NOTE: we still play this almost daily, 

as the overwhelming responsibilities of being a new mommy and daddy can be quite a lot!!}

We loved the song so much,

Joe played it again on you tube

and even the nurse got excited and started prepping for the birth of our baby girl.

She told us to get the movie Shark Tale or something??
Apparently this song is in it--

I need to look into that.

The Dr came in shortly thereafter around 1am

and checked me one final time.

I was at last,

10cm.

She said it was time to do some "practice pushing"

P.S. I don't think there is such a thing as practice pushing...