Being a Mom to Littles

It hit me last night, like a ton of bricks.  As I lay in bed, thinking about the day's activities and such, my mind began to wander.  I started to brainstorm ideas for my Christmas gifts; ones that would be fun to play with the kids like a silly board game.  I thought how Bradley is getting old enough to listen and possibly take direction.  I weighed the logistics of how often we'd play the game during the week, since Brooke is in school 3 days a week---and my mind went there.

It went to September 2018, where our little girl will be getting on a school bus and riding off to Kindergarten.  It seemed so far off up until this moment in my mind and I burst into tears.

Babies don't keep, this I know.

My littlest just transitioned from his crib to a toddler bed.  {Joe removed the big rail and replaced it with the small.} In an instant, it feels like my days of being a mom to littles is nearing an end.

I know I still have two full years of Bradley in preschool and the rest of this year, but wow---what a shot to the heart!  In the trenches, I always say, sometimes it is super hard.  The days where Joe works long hours and I felt like I never talked to anyone other than baby babble?  Gone.

I have two blonde cuties who can both talk my ears right off any given day!

I have an almost 5 year old who dresses herself.

Brushes her teeth.

Helps with chores.

Buckles herself up in the car.

Helps herself to water if she's thirsty.



But as much as I get choked up at thinking of how all the "babyness" is gone from my house, my heart lights up as I began talking about Christmas cookies and all the cut-outs we wanted to make.  And in those moments I saw her eyes light up so big, and I realize that this too is a gift, this time of innocence, curiosity and wonder.

I suppose this is all normal, just the typical feeling mommas get as their babies grow into toddlers, into preschoolers, and into kids.

I'm savoring each sweet step and just wishing I could bottle the feelings and emotions right up!  In a sense however, I feel as if I already do.

This time of year I reflect on when I was pregnant, preparing for my January babies.  All it takes is a scent, or a sight and I am taken right back to when it was all so new and strange.

That's the thing about memories, they can creep right up when you least expect them.  They can bring tears of joy or a twinge of sadness.

Did I spend enough time loving on them? Teaching them? Holding them? Kissing their little heads? Letting them "help" me, even when I know it will be a bigger mess?


I vow to myself to soak up every last moment of these days with Brooke until we set her free in the land of full day school.  I know she'll thrive and flourish.  She's so eager to learn, to play, to become more.



But for now, I'll let her play and cuddle and be that little skunk or cat that she wishes to be.

Motherhood is such a beautifully strange journey and sometimes there are no words to truly describe how I feel.  I just know that I love these two little souls that the love of my life and I created, more than anything in the world.  Although it is not easy at times, it certainly deserves my time and attention.

They won't be little for long, and I already miss it.  I know that I will miss this stage too.

Farewell Summer

Here we are, start of the school year.  Today our 4.5 year old starts Pre-K.  She's attending the same school she went to last year, just an extra day and a little longer.  Mama wasn't ready to send her off every day quite yet.

She is so full of promise, hope, innocence and love.  She has little fear when it comes to climbing rocks, trees, and other high places.  (She gets that from her Daddy!)

The sky is the limit my sweet girl, and I cannot wait to see you grow, blossom and flourish this year.

This one still gets mama time 24/7, although we have joined the Y and he loves the play area.  He's not quite as adventurous as big sis, but he's getting there.  He's still little.

I am pretty sure he'll miss her a little more than she'll miss him, for a few reasons.  One, she's all he's ever known.  She had 2 years on this earth without a buddy, and he has had her since day one.  Two, she'll be off and learning new things and he'll (sort of) be doing the same daily routine, now adding in the gym time.

Sure they bicker, but the love on one another even more.  Hug Time.

Pre-K Ice cream social....yes, our daughter is the one with a scarf tied around her back.  She is not Brooke when she is wearing it, please call her Meadow.

Cheesy grin.  "Where Brookie go?" was heard quite a bit this night.

August felt a lot like September...lots of pants and fleeces.  We still got outside as much as possible, unless it was storming.

My little buddies helping out as we work. (Again, look at the jackets! Craziness)

They like to pretend they're sleeping in the most random spots.  This is what happens when you turn off TVs and don't let them play on the iPad, phones or computers much.  C-R-E-A-T-I-V-T-Y #balance

His goofy personality is really starting to shine through.

She has begged me to let her drive the tiny carts for a very long time.  They keep them by the checkout area, so this time she remembered to ask as soon as we pulled in and my type A personality took a backseat and I let them be little.

They actually did quite well! I didn't need much, so I didn't grab a large cart, so we filled up theirs.  They made sure to evenly split everything so they both had the same amounts in their carts.

We squeezed in one more family fun day, and hit up Sea Breeze.

The airplane that goes, "up and down and round and round."

Daddy pulled out all the stops from pizza to Dip and Dots and even some fried dough.

I think it's safe to say they had a ball.

I had to distract him so Joe & Brooke could go on the bumper cars (he's not quite tall enough yet) so slushies it was.

I see a future man in these photos and it's crazy.  I just love him at this age!

Summer 2017 was a mix of lots of work and play.   I've mentioned before how I'll always miss the baby stages, but these ages 2-4 are priceless.  Not quite big enough to do everything, but big enough to do and understand most! 

As always the Summer slipped by in a blink of an eye and there will always be more on my bucket list.  It was a cooler and rainy Summer than most, and it makes me think that this Winter will be one for the books.  

Fall is around the corner and back to school is here, another season fleeting by.  My hope is to continue to stop and enjoy these small moments and breathe in all of their goodness.  

Summer Lovin' {Kids Edition}

I tried not to schedule too many activities for the kids, but I did put them in a few camps in July.  One was a two day mini dance/magic camp.  She loved creating a wand to cast spells and wearing this silly mask.  She kept trying to turn Bradley into different animals.

Our babysitter cancelled one Friday so we had to break off into teams. Brooke went with Joe to go to one of the houses. Bradley accompanied me to a few appointments. 

Baby girl wasn't feeling too hot, and she wanted a nice warm drink to sip on.

She did get well enough to attend her last day at Fairy Camp--they marched in a little parade around the school in their wings, crown & with a wand.

I felt bad her wings didn't have any glitter because she missed 2 days when she was sick. :(  Brother wanted to be a part of the parade too!

We were able to sped a Sunday at Grandma's. The kids just loved feeding the chickens.

Mr. Bradley had a 3 day mini camp as well!  He was so excited to put on a little backpack and "go to school."

Brooke was an excellent big sister and told him how much fun he'd have.

He did pretty well!! The teacher said Monday he got a little teary halfway through asking for "Brookie" and that he missed her.   Wednesday was water day and he didn't want to play in the water, but he loved being outside.

Friday came and he cried when I dropped him off, but the teachers said he was totally fine 5 minutes later and had a ball playing with other kids.  He made 3 pieces of art work and still shows them off to me, as they hang on our fridge.

Brooke went to Nana & Papa's so I had the boys all to myself one evening!

We stopped for burgers and fries down in Sea Breeze.

Joe took us to this adorable little beach.

Bradley just loved throwing stones & sand.

It's nice to not have a baby eating sand at a beach, I must say! I miss the squish of a baby, but having little kids is really fun.

And of course laying in it and rolling around.

Summer is slipping away and I feel Autumn trying to sneak up on us.  We've been able to do a few more fun activities, so I'll be sharing those as well.

I am

When I was a teacher, one of my favorite things to do with my students was the "I am" poem.  I absolutely loved our poetry unit, as it really helped me get to know my students on a new level, but also let them get to know themselves.  I took a grad class with an amazing teacher and we got to do a lot of creative writing.

One lesson he taught was simple.  Let your students tell them about yourself simply by completing:

I am...

Of course like any good teacher I would do this assignment right along with my students.  I let them see a little bit more of me and open that door of communication.

It also reminds me of Steve Chandler's 100 Ways to Motivate Yourself, he talks about children writing a "Lie Poem" where they speak of all of these amazing things they do in life.

We should be more like our kids.  Speak the truth that we want to be.

I'm not sure exactly how or why this popped into my head this morning, but after reading my daily devotionals, I felt drawn to write in my journal.

I clearly then felt the need to bang my fingers against this black keyboard and share my current "I am."  I wish I could find my examples from years ago; oh how much I have grown! I'm putting a twist on this one though and only allowing myself to complete positive thoughts.

I am-

an amazing wife.

a strong and patient mother of two.

a girl mom.

a boy mom.

a stay at home mom.

a work at home mom.

living my dream life.

loving, compassionate and caring to all things.

about to turn 36 years old.

blessed with a beautiful home.

healthy, whole and in great shape.

proud of my body, birthing two healthy babies.

a lover of green tea lattes and fine wine.

passionate about living my life to its fullest.

slow and articulate, enjoying every season of life.

loved.

witty, charming and can talk to anyone freely.

full of heart always helping others.

a runner.

a yogi.

a nature lover.

free from reflux and tinnitus. 

full of grace, peace and love.

present in the moment.

grateful.

accepting of myself 

a dancer.

living.

breathing.

being.

a Summer girl.

a writer, a reader and a published author.

a lover of healthy foods.

someone who helps others find a home in unconventional ways.

a peacemaker.

a loyal friend.

selfless.

selfish.

loving meditation.

always up to try something new.

a lifelong learner.

vulnerable.

a traveler who loves to explore new people, places and things.

fit.

happy.

I am Me.

Want to try it?  Don't filter your thoughts, just let it flow.  Try to stay optimistic and speak in the present tense.  Yes, EVEN if you find yourself writing something negative, switch it to the positive.   I will be honest and say that I've been feeling a bit in a funk these few days and I found that writing always helps, especially something like this.  Let me know if you write your own! 

Confessions and Randoms...

I confess...

...I'm so happy it's Thursday!! I'm beyond ready for the holiday weekend. Bring on the fireworks!

...I feel guilty for blogging.  I sometimes think I am "wasting" my time, but then when I think about it, I don't have many activities that I do just for me, and in a way, I hope that my blog helps others.  At least that is what I tell myself so that I don't feel guilty for taking some time to write!

...I did not want to workout today but I did it anyway.  I pushed play on my Beachbody on demand and did cardio with Shaun T.  Boom.

...I am not loving this silly weather.  Where are you Mr. Sun and please dry up all this rain?!

...I totally got my new Driver's license in the mail and cannot believe how chubby my cheeks were! The photo was taken years ago before I had kids...so while the fine lines and wrinkles are not there, man oh man my cheeks!

...Side note, I really appreciated being able to go to TOPS to get my vision checked and filling out all my info online and entirely skipping the DMV.  Not a place I want to go and bring the kiddos!

....Lots of good vibes and positive thoughts for this weekend. We have some big deals happening and I am praying for some smooth sailing!

...I have really been taking in what Brené Brown has to say.  She's got a lot of good stories and a way with explaining how our minds and hearts tend to work as women.

...That said, this quote stopped me in my tracks when I was walking the dog the other morning:

...I will fully admit I don't like the middle of things---the uncertain, the unknown, the crazy ups and downs and where the EFF is this taking us feeling...but it's so true.  Without a scary middle, there is no beautiful end.  I need to learn to embrace, get uncomfortable (even more than I was already thinking that I was) and that yes, I DO want to be in this arena.

...Confused about what I'm talking about? Do yourself a favor and grab this book:

...I'm sure I'll share more later as I am only a little ways in.

...Some days I don't feel like lifting heavy weights or jumping around like a crazy person.  It doesn't mean that I don't work out, it means I turn to Yoga.  I am obsessed with my new Alo yoga pants.

...I made the kiddos a homemade pizza last night and it took all of me to not eat the other half. #truestory

...however I did nibble a few bites and immediately felt a yuck feeling in my gut. I tossed both kids in the stroller and pushed them (it's rather heavy now!) and felt a little better.

...I saw this about about died.  Joe and I will randomly start singing this aloud and then question wth? Seriously this song is something else.

...Is it 5:00 yet?  Mama is heading out on a sushi and business date with daddy and is ready to get dolled up.

Happy Thursday!!