4 Weeks {real talk}

Monday we had a checkup and all was well, except for the white on his tongue.  I thought it was milk, since I had literally just fed him in the waiting room, but the Dr. said keep an eye on it, it could be Thrush.

It was the first time out with my two babes alone.  We survived!

Monday night my sweet friend Kristin stopped by and we had so much fun laughing and enjoying a glass of cab/merlot.

Tuesday my friend Alison offered to meet me at the mall so Brooke could run around the play area and we could get out a bit.  Thank you again Al!! It was quite the effort leaving the house, but once we got there it was good!

He didn't really seem phased.

Mid-week…

I tried the shaving cream and food coloring--she thought it was fun!

He watches from the hallway, so he doesn't get splashed!

Thursday my mother in law came over and watched the kids for the afternoon--HOLLA! Thanks again Mama D!!  I was able to get my eyebrows waxed (oh they were bad!) take Joe some sushi for lunch and stock up at the grocery store, by myself.  It was awesome! She made this dress for Brooke's birthday, so I finally got her in it. So cute!



Hard to get a clear, still shot of her…always on the go!!


Friday I took him back to the Dr. since his tongue still had white on it and they did confirm it was Thrush.  The Dr said it's very common in newborns, who knows what caused it. I'm wondering if it was the antibiotics I had to be on while giving birth because of GBS+ {Although Brooke never got it so who knows}  We have a daily prescription of Nystatin…hopefully it clears up. I feel bad if it's making his mouth sore :(  I've been diligent with my daily probiotics so I'm hoping that I don't get it/pass it back and forth because that sounds terrible.

So we snuggle and love on him a little extra, if that's even possible, just in case he is in pain.

As if Thursday weren't good enough, Friday my dad and step-mom came by to watch baby boy for us! They hadn't seen him in awhile and had a humidifier for us.  I was able to sneak out for a chiropractor appointment and Joe took Brooke out on a Daddy/Daughter date to the mall and lunch.





I guess he was up a lot, so he was pretty tuckered out later on!

Friday the 13th was a series of weird things…I rebounded from them, as in the scheme of things, they weren't life changing, but just one thing after another.

-Dropped my Spark on the floor
-Toaster died while trying to make toast
-I burned the bacon (I never do that)
-I had to rush to the DR for Bradley's appt, so I took like a half of a shower
-I almost slipped/fell carrying him because the parking lot was so slippery
-Opened the cupboard to get Brooke a snack and pears came flying out knocking over her newborn photo
-I lost my phone in the truck
-Joe was asking me like 10,000 questions as I walk in the door….

Needless to say, to me, it was a bit of a rough morning.  I sometimes feel like I just can't be in enough places at once.  Being a mama of two littles and a dutiful wife is no easy task, but I take everything to heart and always try my best.  It's kind of like a juggling act on a daily basis.  Whose needs are most important at that time?  Nine times out of ten, it's the baby who needs me first, but there are times when he has been fed, changed, and is still fussy…but Brooke, Joe, Holly, dinner, or even myself need attending to.

I wouldn't change anything for the world, and I am by no means complaining, but I just want to share the realness of being a mommy of a newborn and toddler as well as a wife to a man who works crazy long hours, has his own rental properties business and is in the midst of starting up a new company.  I know it won't be like this forever, and perhaps there are other mamas out there who too feel overwhelmed at times.

The days can seem long and a tad lonely right now, in the sense that there really is no one else to talk to sometimes other than Brooke and Bradley.   It's a never-ending diaper changing, butt-wiping, peeing, pooing, puking filled day.  Not to mention the every 2-3 nursing baby boy that can sometimes just leave you feeling exhausted, because once you're don't feeding, you've gotta stay hydrated and full.  Plus, if you stress out, that never helps your milk supply.  So again, balancing everything, breathing in the moments and lowering my expectations are what work for me, when I am home alone.   I appreciate text messages and phone calls, but more than anything I am SO SO thankful for face to face time, like having people come over in person or meet up with me, as well.

In between the chaos of two kids, there are moments where both are sleeping and I can sit down and take a rest.  Watch my one show [Scandal] or even catch a nap while my munchkins sleep.  I call it the eye of the hurricane, because once that blissful time is over, chances are they both wake up and need me simultaneously and it's time to get my head in the game and stay focused! {especially because dinner will need to be prepared shortly thereafter, and we all know how that tends to be a witching hour for toddlers…}

Nothing could be more true than this statement--if it weren't for in-laws, parents, friends, my sister, I know for a fact I would not be doing as well as I am today.  I try very hard to let everyone know how appreciative I am, and I hope they realize how much their love and support means to me and my family!!



So if you're feeling a little like "WHOA"…take a step back and breathe.  Know that we all have moments, days, or times when life is just crazy.  We cannot control certain things, but we just have to breathe through the moments and accept what is, and change what we can.   I always try to focus on the positives, what I am grateful for, and all of the blessings in our life.  But I am human and I try to be very honest here in my space on the internet, and admit tears fall from my face sometimes and we all have times where we are just trying to get by.  

I hope to just come across as a real woman who certainly does not have "it all together" and just like every other mom, am doing the best I can.  I know I have so much to be grateful for and am beyond blessed for this live we lead, but I just want to share my honest thoughts and hope it all makes sense…I know others are going through really tough times and that some of what makes me tear up, is probably just because I am sleep deprived and my hormones are still regulating.  I just believe it's so important to support each other and lift one another up, and not compare ourselves.  Our good health is first and foremost the thing I am most thankful for each day.  Life is too short…

And so maybe purchase yourself a cute new cup to hold hot or cold beverages…I can think of several drinks I'll be sipping out of that fun glass!  I just love supporting work at home mamas, and Leah has such cute stuff!  {Simply Made With Love} 

As for now, I smell a toddler diaper that desperately needs changing and my mouth is as parched as the desert.  #gimmeallthewater

Happy Sunday friends!

Breathing in this Season of Life [newborn & toddler]

My first week flying solo as a momma of two!  Other than my house cleaner, I haven't had any visitors either! I must say it's going pretty well.  I've had my moments where all (3) of us may have been crying/tearing up, but I've also had way more smiles and positive triumphs as well.  I just keep reminding myself they're only this little once!! He'll be crawling before I know it. It makes me crazy to think how fast time will fly, and this is my last baby, so I best enjoy every second of it!!

 Of course, in good old Western NY fashion, we had about 2 feet of snow dumped on us and the temperatures have stayed really cold, making it pretty much impossible to want to leave my warm house!  I mean really, where am I gonna go with a newborn and a 2 year old in this kind of weather?? Not to mention the whole measles outbreak freaks me right the…out.





We've actually gotten even more than this, but I'm too frozen to even think about snapping more pix.



So we've played inside and had some more cuddles on the couch.



She's pretty entertaining, I mean look at her.



My little chef.



What have a learned?

Not to start a toddler craft or try to do anything that requires too much focus on Brooke while baby is awake.  He is just very little and needs me, to hold, to fix his pacifier, to change him, to feed him…and it's very difficult to run back and forth between him in the swing and her at the table.  SO for today, I waited until Mr fell asleep and then I went into Brooke's room and we read a ton of books, worked on her letters and words and played in her tent…we pretty much put every single blanket in there and she loved it!



I've been making a real effort to spend some QT with her each day and work on something "school-like" to ease us back into a routine.   I just cut out some old school, fold the paper in half, hearts. She loved it!



To breathe and remind myself it's only a season.  I know my house won't be strewn with toys forever, I'll be back into my skinny jeans, working out/breaking an incredible sweat, and that I'll be whipping up fabulous dinners again soon…for now I just do what I can.  As long as we have food in our bellies and everyone is well, that's all I am striving for each night when I lay my head on the pillow.



I'm rather proud that I've gotten into a bit of a rhythm (that I know can change at any moment) with baby boy.  I never finished the book Baby Wise, but I guess it was what I did with Brooke anyway, I hadn't read it though.  It just makes common sense to me, to try and keep the baby awake, the house loud, lit up, and feed him every 2-3 hours during the day.  By 8pm, it's Brooke's bedtime, so as she settles down, the whole house does.  We keep it quieter and between 9-10 Bradley takes his last feed and then gets up around 2:30/3.  At two weeks in, I'm a happy mama! Granted, we put him in the crib from the 2nd night he came home, so the routine started then…he even napped in his crib today while Brooke and I played!









Sleeping angel.



He may have watched a little RHOBH with me…shhhh!



He tends to sleep a lot better, I mean like REALLY great after a bath.





Since I've been getting more sleep, I feel better overall.  My hunger is outta control with breastfeeding; I swear this kid eats waaaaay more than Brooke.  He feels heavier each time he's all done at the milk bar!!  I am not sure if what I am eating is affecting him; I never had that issue with Brooke but a few times he's spit up quite a bit and hiccups…if anything I think it may be an onion issue?? Not sure.  I had salsa yesterday and we ended up with like 5 outfit changes, so I am going to watch what I eat in that regard.  I am so happy that I am able to produce more than enough for him, so while I am not dieting, I do try to fill up on healthier options and the weight is slowly still coming off.

Not happy--mid hiccup--



February 26th,  I go in for my 6 week check up, so my goal is to start March 1 with my clean eating plan and workouts.  I am pumped to start the PIYO dvd I bought when prego. I tried to do it through that, but it didn't happen. So, needless to say, I'm so excited to be able to workout again!!  Tomorrow I am going to the chiropractor to help with my SPD--he was the only one who helped last time.  I am confident that I will be pain free by March.  It will be the first time Big Daddy flies solo with two kids!! Wish him luck ;)

We have some fun things planned for this weekend--tomorrow we are going to Joe's grandmother's house so she can meet her first great-grandson!! Saturday my dad and step mom are coming over to visit and Sunday Joe and I are taking Brooke, as well as going with another couple and their son, to Disney on Ice!!  I was going to just bring the baby, but then after talking with some people we decided maybe spending some time alone with Brooke would be good for her.  It has been a good transition, but she deserves some alone time too!  She flips out every time she sees a commercial for this on TV and starts singing and dancing, so I cannot wait for her to see!  So Grandma Maria will come watch little boy while Brookie gets spoiled for the day.

Both kids are sleeping at the moment; Brooke's bound to wake up at any second, but I think I'm going to go lay down until that moment happens!  I have an easy chicken thigh recipe all ready to throw in the oven…life is good!

I'll share more of our "daily routine" once we get into one…I feel like reading what other moms do all day with their wee ones is super helpful, so I hope to share that with others who may be interested as well. 

Bradley's Birth Story

So how about those "gnarly braxton hicks" I wrote about here, were indeed actual contractions?!  After I put Brooke to bed, I started feeling them more and more frequently.  I decided to try to relax and chill out, knowing this could be a long ride to the finish line.  I told Joe at some point, ya you're not going to work tomorrow (on Saturday 17th) because either baby boy was going to come, or I would be laboring all day and knew I wouldn't be able to handle Brooke and my contractions.  I don't think he really believed me…

So I took a bath a little after 8.  I tried to just breathe and enjoy some quiet time, but I will tell you I did not enjoy contracting in our bathtub.  Maybe if it were a whirlpool jet tub or even bigger, I may have, but I was just not feeling it.  So I drank my pineapple juice and inhaled my lavender essential oil and got out.

I laid upstairs in our bedroom, which I find the most tranquil; Joe was playing his video games and I just tried again to relax/listen to sleep meditation on you tube, again hoping to get some rest before going into active labor.  Once he came up to bed, I went down to the couch because I wanted him to get some rest…

Well, my night sort of looked like this.  The hard part about the timer is that when you're having a contraction, it can be tricky to hit the start button---I fumbled with this stupid thing for awhile, trying to see if I had any rhyme or reason to my contractions.

At some point I took a shower, washed my hair, and told Joe I thought we should get ready and go in…it was like 2 in the morning or something and he told me to no! LOL  Since this happened with Brooke and we were sent home, he said just go lay down and see what happens.  As much pain as I was in, and and as worried that this would go on for days again like Brooke's, I obliged.  I blew dry my hair, and tried to sleep in between my contractions.  They did slow down again about 7-8 mins apart.  

What I was noticing, was that my contractions started in the back, wrapped around to my front and ended in nausea.  I always felt like I was going to throw up at the very end of it.  It sounded like the real deal to me!

I did sip on some rehydrate and had one piece of dry toast around 4 am. [still sitting on the counter when I got home from having baby boy…doh!]

By 7 am, I called my Dr. and he said I can always come in, but if I'm not dilated enough, I will be sent home.  I was still getting contractions, but since they were not consistent, I decided to try and hold out awhile longer. I went back upstairs to Joe around 7:30 and I think I slept for about a half an hour.

***NOTE TO EVERYONE---Your contractions may never be text book "5 minutes apart for one hour, one minute long"--mine weren't! I am glad I listened to my gut and got going to the hospital eventually!

By 8:30/8:45, Brooke woke up (randomly slept in that morning!) and Joe was asleep.  I tried to take care of her but I really started feeling terrible and could barely function, so I woke Joe up, kind of teary and said he needed to take care of her, or we could call his mom but I could not give her breakfast or get her dressed.

By 9:35 I called his Mom and was in so much pain, I mumbled through the conversation stating something like, we need to bring Brooke to you, and even if they send me home I just need to know if I've progressed at all because I am in SO much pain and can barely breathe through these contractions! It helped that a few friends on Instagram, as well as my mother, encouraged me to go in just to see…because you really just never know.

My sweet husband took his time, ironing his clothes, taking a shower, and finally getting our toddler dressed.  He even took a silly video, where he's commentating, Brooke is running around, and I am on the yoga ball breathing and eventually yelling up to him, "GET HER DRESSED LET'S GO NOW!"

Why the sudden panic?  I started feeling pressure in my butt.  Now, not to be TMI but when you're in early labor, your body does its thing and really empties out.  There was nothing more in me.  But I had this insane pressure in my bottom, ya know the one that will eventually give ya the urge to push?  So, when I felt that, and I told my mom…she said get to the hospital.

There was no time for me to go with Joe to drop Brooke off at my in-laws, I had him just drop me right off at the hospital!! I just had tunnel vision and breathed through the contractions in the truck, on the way to the hospital.  I looked at the clock and they were coming about every 4 minutes.  I got out of the truck, waddled into the hospital, took the green elevators up to the third floor and checked myself in.  I had a contraction while signing in, that was awesome, especially when some dude interrupted and needed a visitor pass.  HELLO, I am in LABOR people.

I finally walk down to triage, pee in a cup, get undressed and hooked up to the monitors.  There is no sweeter sound than hearing baby boy's heartbeat.  And there I laid from 10:50 until 11:15 when they finally came in and checked me.  It felt like an ETERNITY!! I'm sure it felt longer because I was alone.  Joe had taken Brooke to grab some breakfast bagels and then to his parents house.  I had several contractions while laying there, which excited me because with Brooke, whenever I went to Triage, they completely stopped…and I felt like a fool! These bad boys were still comin and still super painful.

Literally as I texted him at 11:17, "I am 5cm!! 100%!! We are having a baby" I heard him walk in and ask for me.  The look on his face was priceless, as he really thought I would be sent home.  {He didn't even wear his green sweatshirt he had picked out and had all ready to wear, the same one he wore for Brooke's birth, because he didn't think that was going to be the day.}

After the midwife checked me, she was rather shocked because, and I quote, "Your contractions didn't look like much on the monitor."  So while I'm yelling, whining, breathing, and in excruciating pain, they're out in the front of the room watching my contractions like no big deal.   Thanks ladies.

Either way, when they realized how far I was, and knew I wanted an epidural {I may have been asking for one as soon as I arrived} it was go time. A team of people rushed in, hooked my IVs up, made sure I got my antibiotic for GBS+ because I had to have that for 4 hours before I could deliver.  Once I was all situated, the nurse and Joe walked me to my room.  Gillian was my nurse and she was seriously, hands down the best person I could have gotten!! Absolutely amazing.  She told me if I needed to stop and have a contraction I could, I was like eh I'm ok…yeah well, I probably went from my 5cm to the 7 right there in the hallway because SHEEEWWEEEE that was a doozie!! Holy cow.   I wished I had some better breathing techniques because I never went through this much labor without medicine with Brooke.  I had the morphine and then my very strong epidural…so this pain was all new to me.

Finally around 12:30 or so I got my epidural.  By then I was 7cm, and it only ended up doing me some good because once I got to 9cm, I started really feeling crazy pressure and back labor.  I had heard others talk about back labor, but I had NO clue how terrible it was!  At least for an hour or two I was able to rest a bit, enjoy some lemon ice and a popsicle.  My dad and step mom came and even my sister was able to make it!!  My mother in law stopped up too, but I was in so much pain I was probably not very fun to be around when she came in! Sorry Mama D.

I think it was around 3:30 when my last dose of antibiotics was administered and shortly after that I felt like I had to push.  The Dr came in and said I was at 9.5 cm but after she broke my water (which was nothing like when my water broke with Brooke! No gush or anything) I went back to a 9 so I still had one more cm to go.  

The nurse had me lay on my left side, then right side, and try to get baby boy into the right position because he was still posterior.  That's what was causing the back labor…so I had the nurse pushing/massaging my lower back and Joe was trying to coach me through each contraction/breathing.

By almost 4:30 I was laying on my left side, Joe was right by me and I almost fell asleep.  Then all of a sudden I literally felt the baby drop into position and I screamed, the baby is coming!! I have to push!! The nurse said it's ok, and calmed me down…rang for the Dr and and checked me and said, oh yes, his head is right there…if you need to push it's ok..

My actual active labor was 12 minutes.  It felt like an hour, but 12 minutes really?!  My contractions had been right on top of each other, but when I went to push, they spaced out and it was as if my body gave me a minute and a half to just focus and rest until the next one.

In those 12 minutes I started having self-doubt, I worried I wasn't going to be able to push him out, I wanted to ask for a C-section because it hurt so darn bad…but then I re-focused and made myself think positively.  I knew I could do it, I had done it with Brooke.  I did yell out, "GET THIS BABY OUT OF ME!" at one point, and the Dr. did give me an episiotomy because I was starting to tear. Once she did that, I think I did 2 or 3 pushes and he was OUT.

1.17.15
at 4:46
8 lbs 14 oz
21 inches

Bradley Joseph made his debut.

I was so happy to have the skin to skin this time as it made the after birth experience a lot better.  Joe even cut the cord and baby was on me for a good half hour-45 minutes or so.

Daddy was so proud of me and so proud to hold you baby boy.

I may have made everyone cry when I played, Brad Paisley's "Anything Like Me" song when Daddy held you.

I think you even smiled for your first family photo.

So, with that, we completed our family.  I am so grateful for such an amazing team of nurses, midwives and once again an excellent Dr.  We truly had a wonderful birth experience and it's so cool to compare both Brooke and Bradley's debuts.  Each baby is so different, but most of all I am so thankful for once again such a healthy babe.  I felt so much better not having all that morphine in my system and even though the epidural wasn't strong enough from keeping me from moving my legs, I think it was better since I was able to feel more and push a lot more efficiently this time around. 

Thank you for all the love, support, prayers and positive vibes---they worked!!  

Now to raise a little boy…boy oh boy!!  

2 Weeks

Oh my goodness, how has it been two full weeks already?!  I cannot believe at this moment in time, two weeks ago, I was rolling on my yoga ball and yelling up to my husband to HURRY UP…we legit have a video that I should share because now it is comical.   But at the time, I was really in pain and ready to scoot to the hospital!  I cannot wait to share our birth story and have so much to say.

My mom has been here all week and that has been very helpful, since Joe's Crohn's acted up and it was nice to have some backup while he was down and out, and then he had to go to work.   I will admit that I think I rushed my recovery because I legit felt well the beginning of the week, so I ran errands and really tried to keep up with everything.  Baby was sleeping fairly well few nights and I think I just kicked into overdrive knowing Joe was not well, I had no choice but to step up and take care of everyone…but come Wednesday I didn't feel great, my bleeding picked back up and I just knew I had to rest more.  I can be such an over achiever at times (blah!) But I am smart enough to listen to my body.

My mom goes home today, so tomorrow we will be on our own.  No big plans for the Super Bowl, but we are hoping to go visit his grandma tomorrow morning, so she can meet her great grandson.

Highlights from the last two weeks:

My milk came in, just like with Brooke in FULL force.  The lactation consultant told me not to pump (like they did last time) but I just couldn't take the pain, so I pumped and I have a freezer stock started.  Phew.

Lots of outfit changes, cuddles, diaper changes…repeat!

Daddy giving him his bottle for the first time {1.23.15}

Sister thought he wanted to hold Daisy Duck.

Great Grandma Owl made some sibling shirts--thank you!!

My sister came over and helped out {1.25.15}

Her and her husband made us dinner. Thanks again!

Mr. Bradley had his second checkup {1.27.15}

Brooke had been adjusting fairly well!! She has not wanted to hold him, but she will give him kisses.  She is really learning to play independently quite nicely, and is becoming so imaginative!  The living room is usually strewn with toys, but she's a happy kid, so that's really what matters.  Daddy has taken her on a few Daddy/Daughter dates and that has been awesome for her as well.

Some nights he sleeps better than others and we are still getting into a rhythm, but he is such an angel baby and we are so blessed he's doing so well!  I have to admit going from 0-1 kid was WAY harder for me than 1-2.  Sure it's a lot more multi-tasking and I feel like I'm juggling things a lot more, but I am super thankful to not be pregnant any more.  Seriously, I cringe when I hear people say how happy they are pregnant, because I was not one of those people.  Pregnancy was hard on my body and seriously, I felt like a million bucks having him on the outside of my body and in my arms.  I am blessed to have had the chance to carry two healthy babies full (past!) term and we believe that our family is complete.

I did manage to sneak out for a few hours yesterday to get my roots handled--blonde for life!  I went to Target after for some diapers and wipes, and was ready to come home.  I have had some postpartum cries, nothing crazy but the hormones are definitely still regulating.  Annoying and weird, but it is what it is.

My goals for this week:

1.)  GET MORE SLEEP--especially when the babes nap during the day.  I know I need more and I get crazy if I don't get enough.  

2.) I also hope to get into a little more of a routine and maybe venture out to the library or something to get Brooke outside.  It's so cold out, but we need to get out at least once next week.  

3.)  Take some newborn photos with our nice camera!!

4.) I also want to blog more,  I just need to be able to get enough sleep to formulate coherent thoughts!!  I made myself sit down and just write something today, so there you have it.  Two kids, two and under, the first two weeks. I survived, with help of friends, family, and adrenaline! (and caffeine)