My husband told me to be like Elsa yesterday, as I rattled off a bunch of things that frustrate me, trouble my mind and make me feel ill at ease. I've been feeling rather good lately, but whether it's just that time of month, certain factors in our lives, the weather, or whatever I want to use to blame...
I sometimes just get a little "up in my head" and I really don't like it. I realize it's been a few days since I've listened to my positive motivation audiobooks, and I truly believe that may be why. It's like anything else in life; I can't carry on eating burgers in fries, if I want to stay in good shape. Same goes for my emotional and mental well-being.
The thing I struggle with the most is caring what others think. I worry about everyone's feelings, how they may be affected by certain situations. It's hard to make everyone happy--it's actually downright quite impossible.
I can say that as the kids get older and our responsibility continues to grow, it's becoming harder and harder to tow the line of "doing what's right" vs "doing what's right for me/my family."
I don't know why I crave balance so much, but with Joe's crazy work schedule, not many people can relate to how little time we have to work with, and with building a new home on the horizon, a lot of things are definitely going to be shifting, changing, and hopefully our friends and family can be understanding. While Joe has never been one to just lounge around and be lazy, (neither of us actually) I know that in the upcoming year, between his work schedule and us working on the land, it's sure to be intense!
Since I can't make others understand what it takes to make our little family function happy & healthy, I know that playing a victim is not an option.
I stumbled across a powerful little video (reminder) via Facebook this morning. I follow the "Power of Positivity" page and truly needed to let these soak in...
10 Things to let go of to be happy:
1.) Let go of toxic people in your life.
2.) Let go of regretting past mistakes.
3.) Let go of the need to be right.
4.) Let go of feeling sorry for yourself
5.) Let go of negative self talk
6.) Let go of the need to impress others.
7.) Let go of limiting beliefs.
8.) Let go of the need to please everyone
9.) Let go of gossip and complaining
10.) Let go of worrying about the future
Wow. Can I just say that some of those hit me right smack in the middle of my head! I don't know why I allow myself to care so much about things that I have absolutely no control over. I once thought it was a gift, to be so compassionate. But as I've learned through my 34 years, there is only so much I can give, and sometimes I need to pick and choose where I exert my energy. Right now it's mostly going to these two little curly haired babes that I brought into this world.
Last night, as the clock neared bedtime, Bradley was in a funk. He was fussy and just not feeling it. I was finally showering at 6pm and he stood outside the shower door and cried the whole entire time. I felt awful, skipped shaving my legs (again) and thought he wanted an early bed time.
As I got his last sippy cup ready, changed him and laid him in bed, a huge part of me wanted to rock him, but he was so worked up I thought perhaps just laying him down would be best. So I laid him down, he drank his cup and to my surprise did not fall right to sleep.
He sat and talked, cooed, and giggled and finally laid down. A few minutes later I heard his cry, and as his momma, I know his cries. This was an "in-pain" cry so I rushed in and his foot was caught in his crib slats. I of course picked him right up, snuggled him and rocked him for a little while and it was just what I needed. I'm sure he needed it too, but to rock him in his chair, that I haven't sat in for quite some time, well, it just turned me into a big old pile of mush.
I thought about all that Joe and I have created, accomplished and continue to still do. We dream big dreams and we make them happen. I know along the way there will be haters, or simply people who don't understand. There are going to be others who think we should just be fine with what we have, what we do, where we're at. And that's fine for some people, but what's wrong with wanting a little more? Pushing ourselves daily and continuously to live a life we are both happy with and proud of.
As Joe got home last night around 9:30, we sat on the couch and ate dinner and briefly spoke of this. I giggled and said how I too pushed myself that day because I wanted so badly to stay in my bathrobe, lay in bed and listen to the rest of my audiobook. But I knew he deserved a nice warm, freshly cooked dinner. He deserved a smiling wife at the door, greeting him after a 13 hour work day. He deserved his partner to discuss the day's happenings and laughing with me over all the silly snapchats from the day.
We work extremely hard for our happiness, our family, and the life we live. I don't feel the need to document it and shout out it out upon the rooftop, but I do know what we have is real and it's different. It's not always picture perfect, but it's perfect to us.
And anyone who doesn't understand, or doesn't care to understand us?
Not. My. Problem.
I may have to play that little top 10 video all day and focus on not caring, pleasing and focusing on others' thoughts, opinions, because man---that just drains me.
How do you 'get out of your head'? Is there something that helps you stay motivated and not worrying about others' so much? Is it simply just a switch?
