Go Niners!!

So in the midst of playing mommy,

I haven't been able to really say

HOW FREAKIN EXCITED WE ARE FOR THE SUPERBOWL!

We are attributing the 49ers going all the way,

to our little good luck charm:

{It was the only pacifier she would take at first!
Strangest thing.
She's taking other ones now, but the first few days,
this was the only one.}
#daddyslittlegirl
My husband has waited since 1995 to see his team play in a Super Bowl,
and we are super pumped for Sunday!

Source: Uploaded by user via Katy on Pinterest

Source: Uploaded by user via Amy on Pinterest

Source: Uploaded by user via Amy on Pinterest

Of course we'd love to be celebrating in New Orleans,

but I think our couch will do just fine.

We are just having a few family and friends over.

making some yummy foods and drinks.

And of course, watching the Niners kick some Raven booty!

Any easy and delicious new recipes out there?
I need a good dessert for my upcoming girls' night too...

We will definitely be making this CEVICHE recipe

I shared last March.

We first had it in Las Vegas at Bobby Flay's restaurant.
It's now a family favorite,

and I haven't had it since last year's Super Bowl.

YUM!

Self-Care: Postpartum

My thoughts on the first few weeks postpartum...

As per the usual, I'm gonna be fairly blunt.

If you don't wanna know the ins and outs, 

you may want to skip this post!!

Since I have a few readers who are expecting,

I figured this may help some of you 

{and my future self, 

once I forget about all the pain and want another child!}

when coming home.

Keeping in mind, I had a vaginal birth,

I'm not sure what you'd do for a C-Sec recovery...

I remember reading in various places some good advice, while at the hospital:

If you're not into pain, and not against meds, take what is offered!

I was very very sore--

I took the 'ice diaper' and meds to help with the pain.

I also took the stool softener.

Don't try to be a 'big girl' and tough that one out!

Anything they have extras of in the hospital, don't be shy, take them home!

-Peri bottle, pads, diapers, blankets etc.

Items I highly suggest you buy/have on hand prior to coming home.

Purchases

-Granny panties {the bigger, the better. No joke.}

I got two packs from Target and am still rocking them.

-Fuzzy socks {feet were swollen for a few days after delivery}

-A cute nursing top to come home in. 

(Got mine from The Gap)

{It felt nice to wear something new and feel pretty after being beaten up!}

-I have 3 nursing bras that I really like; I'd like to get a few more.

-Breast pads; I bought one box and I'm out and need to get more today!

-Have enough huge maxi pads in each of your bathrooms.

{You won't have enough, you'll probably need to go buy more.}

-Tucks Medicated Pads & Prep H. in all bathrooms

{Don't think I need to explain}

-Ice pack in the freezer

{wrap in a towel, place down under}

-Epsom Salt

{Make yourself take a Sitz bath.

I waited and when I finally took one OMG it was such a relief}

-Stool Softener for the first week

-Motrin or Tylenol--no aspirin while nursing

 -Snacks/Drinks if you plan on nursing!

{You get so hungry, but you'll forget to eat! 

 And sometimes, you're so consumed with everything, 

you are not hungry, but still need to eat.

My husband would literally shove apple slices in my mouth.

It's important to eat/drink because it does help your milk supply so much!

Have granola bars, nuts, & dried fruit stationed around where you plan on nursing...

The livingroom, bedroom nightstand, the nursery.}

-Plastic cups w/ straws for water, Gatorade, Juice boxes easy to drink while nursing

Now that I'm in the third week,

I really feel a lot better.

Other Tips:

The first week I just couldn't get the sleep I really needed.

The advice of sleep when the baby sleeps, is very true.

You'll feel so much better.

Try and limit your guests and just sleep!

I go to You Tube and search "guided sleep meditation"

and play those to fall asleep quickly.

Otherwise my mind can race

{because there are tons of things I could be doing other than sleeping!}

-But you NEED sleep to let your body heal/repair,

and not look/act like a crazy zombie.

-Invest in some good under eye concealer.

-Shower every day.

There will be days you don't feel like it, 

but I guarantee the hot water will make you feel so much better.

-Put on a little makeup, even if it's just for you, baby and the hubs.

-Make yourself get out of the house alone at the two week mark!

It seriously helped me so much.

-Take food donations! Friends/family may offer food, just take it.

You and your husband will be grateful!

I will admit that I had some anxiety the first week and a half.

I'd get a little worked up around 6-8pm and 

I think it was because I was nervous about baby keeping my husband up at night. 

He had to go back to work the second week home.

It's important Joe stays healthy, as he has Crohn's and stress can cause it to act up.

I just made sure to talk to my husband and let him know how I was feeling,

as I know it's important in any relationship to communicate.

I know 'baby blues' are normal,

but I wanted to make sure I wasn't traveling down the road of PPD.

I can see how easily you can feel isolated and alone,

 if you don't take care of you yourself.

Don't be afraid to ask other moms tons of questions!!

Once I became more confident

{and my crazy hormones leveled out}

I feel much better now.

Although, I have yet to leave the house with her and I alone,

we may tackle that adventure today!

Speaking of hormones, beware!

They are a tad over the top and you may cry at the dumbest things.

I was crying to my husband one night because no one 

ever says that Brooke looks like me;

they all say she looks like him.

You'll probably tear up over things that make you really happy 

and things that you're nervous or afraid of.

You'll begin to appreciate the words,

"You're doing a great job mom!"

It's funny how much those words mean to a new mommy.

Realize that it really is a huge adjustment and soon enough,

you'll get into a rhythm.

I know I have quite a bit of recovering to do,

so I really just listen to my body.

I still rest when I need to and if the house is messy,

I know it will get cleaned eventually.

I still have the pubic bone pain on my left side,

which totally sucks to feel it as I walk.

I'm hoping it mends itself,

and if not, maybe a chiropractor will help.

I also think my abs separated

[ew]

I'll just say it's still hard to get up off the couch.

OH. 

And I got stretch marks.

Right under my belly button.

Fab.

I just try to stay focused on all that is right, happy, and well.

I am so thankful for a super healthy and happy baby;

I'll take the pain for now.

As my husband sweetly said, it took 9 months to get her here,

it's going to take some time for my body to get back to 'normal'.

Remember if you don't take care of you,

you won't be able to take care of your baby!

First Few Weeks with our Baby Girl

These first few weeks have flown by with our baby girl!

So many firsts.

We left the hospital early Saturday evening and it was so warm out.

Mid 50's for January, not bad at all!

We could have stayed until Sunday,

 but I had enough of the hospital and I just wanted the comfort of our home.

Since all was well with Brooke and I breastfeeding,

and we were doing well healthwise, we were given the green light.

 Besides, there was a MAJOR playoff game

Niners vs Packers

that we had to watch in our living room!

And baby makes 3!

Daddy buckled her in nice and tight.

The dogs acclimated fine,

Holly is very curious but has been great.

Sadie doesn't really seem phased at all.

The first few nights were a little rocky.

I didn't know what to do with Brooke.

Put her in the pack-and-play newborn napper?

Place her right in the crib?

She was wide awake pretty much all night long.

I had her downstairs in the swing for a bit.

Or she would fall asleep in my arms.

I knew neither of these were great options,

but I was still lacking sleep from the week before,

plus healing after delivery...

needless to say by 6am that Sunday,

I cried to my husband,

"I've been awake for 22 hours. Please help me."

He got right up,

and took care of baby girl.

I got a few hours of sleep...

The whole feeding every 2 hours was exhausting,

but I knew she had lost a pound,

my milk hadn't come in yet,

and I was determined to get her to gain some weight.

I am so thankful my husband was home that first week.

I did not expect to be as sore and tired

{I know, really Jenn??}

but having him here to keep up with the house, grocery shopping, meals, 

and help with baby was so necessary.

One of the fancy breakfasts he made us!

 I think he helped with the chores to avoid diaper duty:

Daddy Duty:

If I needed to rest, it usually went like this...

We figured it out just fine.

We had our newborn photoshoot

--photos to come--

Unfortunately,

a lot of people I thought would be able to come and help got sick.

January is an awfully germy time of year to have a baby!!

But we did have a few friends stop by with tasty meals for us--so good!

My mother in law caught a nasty flu right after being at the hospital

and still hasn't seen baby since she was born.

My sister came by the first Sunday and was a huge help with her

husband and her best friend, but then she too got really sick!

My mom was supposed to come up the second week,

but she got sick.

I've had my step-mom's help which was so great.

{Tip::if you visit someone who had a baby,

simple things like loading/unloading dishwasher,

throwing in a few loads of laundry, are very helpful!}

So even though it's just been us three for the most part,

I have to say, I think things have been going great.

I now how the swaddle down.
Baby is wrapped like a burrito.

She sleeps in her crib, no problems!

We are on demand feeding,

so sometimes she goes 3-4 hours without needing a feed.

Sometimes it's still 2.

We are using the following diapers/wipes:
Earth's Best

Seventh Generation

Honest Company

as her little bum was red and splotchy...and I freaked.

I also use my homemade cloth wipes and spray water bottle.

Last week I needed to get out of the house.

I got my hair and my eyebrows done,

and we had our first adventure as a family of three 

grocery shopping.

It felt great to have some normalcy!

I've enjoyed a glass of my favorite 

pinot grigio wine,

sushi,

and have had a few rare steaks grilled by the hubs.

I even did my floors on Saturday--

LOVE my new steam mop. 

There's so many great happenings and I am loving life as a new mommy.

My milk supply is OOC!
I am not complaining,

 but holy moly I don't know what to do with all this milk.

I just keep freezing it...

I know this post is all over the place.
I'll try and focus more on certain aspects in the future.

Finding the time is hard though.

I suppose I'll get into a groove soon enough

I'll leave you with a professional snapshot of us with our little angel

{Joe made it very clear to Miss Brooke 

that angels are better than princesses because angels can fly}

Our love our new little family.

Happy Monday!

Brooke's Birth Story: Part Trois {final}

It was One in the morning,

over twelve hours since my water broke.

And I was ready to begin the hardest event of my entire life.

I expected birthing a child to be difficult,

but until you experience it,

there is nothing like it.

At all.

Period.

It was intense, emotional, raw, real, magical, frustrating, and downright painful!

And just like every other mother, 

I sit here with tears in my eyes,

and I'd do it all over again,

just to hold this precious bundle in my arms.

From 1am until 2:34, I pushed, and pushed, and pushed...

I'll try to keep it as real, without being too gross,

let's face it;

somethings, you just need to go through on your own.

Me telling you, still won't prepare you for it.

The doctor that delivered Brooke,

was the same woman I spoke to early that morning who told me to come in.

I guess she was from France {I missed that memo?}
and doesn't work in the office I frequent...

but she was amazing.

She had the most intense eyes,

and really encouraged me, even when I felt like I couldn't push any more.

So to set the scene,

the room I spent all day in, 

was indeed the room I gave birth in and stayed in until we went home.

After the Dr checked me at 10cm,

she sat at the end of the bed,

told Joe to grab my left leg,

the nurse held my right...

and that was it.

For a good hour and fifteen minutes or so,

it was just the four of us...

and I pushed every 2 minutes.

I don't know why,

but in my head,

I had envisioned my husband standing up by my head,

feeding me ice chips,

getting a cool washcloth,

and telling me how great I was doing.

I had never thought he'd be right in on all of the action.

--This was a bit hard to digest, as to be honest, it was not always a 

'beautiful sight' down there...

and the vain side of me, never wanted him to see anything that 

would make me less attractive to him.

Plus a lot of guys at work told him not to 'look down there'

because it will change everything.

However, push came to shove, literally,

and there we were.

An intimate setting

and there was no turning back.

My body has completely amazed me throughout this journey.

Even with the epidural,

I felt the need to "bear down" and push, when it came time.

I would know when the time was coming,

before the monitors would alert the Dr to coach me through each contraction.

I would have some awesome pushes,

and some not so great pushes.

There's a certain way to push,

and you can literally see her head coming out...

you can't tense your legs,

you have to push from your bottom...

and you have to have the endurance.

I was so exhausted,

there were times I literally fell asleep between the 2 minute contractions.

I have never felt so tired in my entire life.

I told Joe that I appreciated him coaching me...

however, when he told me I wasn't pushing hard enough,

I may have accidentally grazed my knuckles on his chin??

I meant positive reinforcement, not Jillian Michaels.

Probably 15 minutes before little one was born,

the Dr put covers over her scrubs, with a hat,

and the room filled with people over by where baby would be checked out.

Joe asked if it was getting close,

and the Dr smiled, she said "I wouldn't be getting dressed if it weren't!"

The last few pushes were intense,

as the Dr let us know Brooke's heart rate was getting too high and she needed to come out.

I cannot tell you the feeling of how hard I pushed to get her out,

thinking that it was solely up to me to get her out, and bring her into this world.

At 2:34,

she finally made her grand entrance.
The ring of fire?
So very true.

The feeling of an entire being sliding out of your own body?

Indescribable. 

The miracle of birth?
It truly is.

As soon as she came out, they rushed her over to the other side of the room.

I had a brief glance at her being whisked away,

and just listened for a cry.

I heard one, but then a lot of commotion.

I guess she swallowed a lot coming out,

so they had to put the tube down her throat 

and I heard her gagging/coughing a lot of it up.

Since there was meconium in my waters,

it was essential they clear her lungs.

They kept her over on the other side for a half an hour.

That was the longest, hardest half hour of my life.

This was probably the only true downside of my birthing experiencing.

As I lay there,

being stitched up

{second degree episiotomy, which the Dr tried to avoid, but I needed}

by the doctor who delivered me and another male doctor,

I began to worry.

No one was telling me anything,

about baby,

about me,

what was going on?

Joe had gone over to be with Brooke,

but I was so confused.

When we had done the hospital tour months ago,

they made such a big deal about "skin to skin" contact

and that as soon as possible, I'd hold her.

A lot of people told me, I wouldn't feel the pain of stitches

or the after-birth,

because I'd be holding my sweet baby in my arms,

and everything else would fade away.

I want to say I made it 15 minutes,

and then I lost it.

I was sobbing uncontrollably and really upset.

I wish someone had just said something to me,

because I thought I was losing my mind.

Joe would come back over and say,

"10 fingers, 10 toes, she's beautiful,"

but I was a wreck.

All the while my family was taking pictures and standing in the doorway 

being able to at least see my daughter;

I'm not going to lie.

It's a mental struggle I'm still dealing with.
I held her in my womb for over 9 months,

and pushed her out.

And I didn't get to see her precious face, fingers, toes, body first.

But I have to focus on the fact that she was needing to be treated,

and that it may not be what I envisioned, but it is what it is.

I do know that I was glad Joe could go be next to her,

and that at one point she reached up and literally grasped his finger

with her little hand.

She weighed 8lbs 6oz
21 inches long
2:34am 1.11.13
***
When they finally brought her to me,

I continued to cry,

my swollen eyes and face...

looking down at her perfectly puffy pink face,

her little eyes looked up into mine and we were locked.

It was so emotional and nothing I've ever felt before.

I'll never forget that first moment holding my baby girl,

and realizing exactly what it means,

to be a mother.

That's what real life, not sleeping in over 4 days and giving birth looks like people.

And this is daddy holding his daughter for the first time:

 And I waited to be taken care of, so I could finally go to sleep...

and these two dozed off for a brief moment before a nurse came back in.

Next up...

leaving the hospital, first week post-partum, and all the joys of being a brand new mommy.

Brooke's Birth Story: Part Deux!

We stayed calm as we hopped in the truck and embarked,

yet again, on our way to the hospital.

I was not very hungry, but had forced a bagel down,

which I was beyond grateful that I had later on...

and Joe asked if he could stop and get breakfast at Panera.

I figured there was no rush, since nothing seemed to have changed in 

the past 48 hours, so we stopped briefly and were on our way.

Walking into the hospital during the daylight, 

it felt like a whole new place than the wee early morning hours the day before.

Everyone seemed happier,

friendlier,

and I felt a lot better this time around.

We checked into triage,

and I was still only 1cm dilated.

The nurses and midwives that day were so sweet and compassionate.

They said that I was experiencing "Prodromal Labor"

and they weren't sure why some people go through it,

but for some reason, something was fighting my body in its natural process of giving birth.

They suggested I stay in another room, take some morphine and rest.

The intention was to relax myself enough, so that perhaps my body could go into labor.

If not, then we'd talk about induction,

since at that point, I was done.

I couldn't take the pain any longer.

Now, those of you who know me, know that I am a fairly natural person.

I try my best to do Organic foods, no medicines, unless really necessary 

and all throughout pregnancy, I never so much took a Tylenol for a headache.

While I did plan on an epidural,

I had never in a million years thought I'd be on morphine prior to giving birth.
However,

it's 2013 and at this stage in the game, I was desperate. 

Around 10:00 am I was administered the medicine,

and I laid in a bed, while my husband sat next to me.

I was sort of in and out of a sleep, but never really fell into a deep sleep.

My contractions had slowed down and weren't so painful and I finally felt somewhat at ease.

Joe had a small cough and kept waking me up, so around noon he said he'd go home,

let our dogs out and let me get some sleep, since that was most important.

He kissed me goodbye,

got no further than the elevators,

and my water broke.

I quickly picked up my cell phone with one hand

and the hit the Nurse's call button with the other,

and couldn't help but think, they couldn't let me home now!

Joe came back in through the door and was so excited.

I tried to explain, it was most likely a fairly long road until we meet our sweet baby,

but yes, this was it!

The doctor came in and I was already dilated to 3-4 cm.

I was elated.

They walked me to my birthing suite,

and in I settled for the stay.

My first two nurses were absolutely amazing and I am so thankful

for them through the majority of my early stages of labor.

They told me that I was the "star of the show" and the only one giving birth that day!

Ironically enough, that was around noon...

by midnight, the hospital was full of women giving birth.

There weren't any vacant rooms,

and left and right women were having their babies well before I had mine.

{granted, they already had kids, so it wasn't their first childbirth}

The cause of the rush of pregnant women going into labor?
The nurses said since the weather was changing from cold to warm,

the barometric pressure drops...

and for some odd reason, it causes more women's waters to break.

Interesting?!

I didn't get much rest in between all of the Residents, Med students, nurses,

doctors, midwives coming in every other minute to check on me. 

  Our families started arriving 

and we could only have a total of 4 people in the room at a time.

I will be honest, and most of the day is a bit blurry.

I was in and out of sleep,

still a little groggy from the morphine,

and just so tired.

At one point they brought me a tray of liquids and I do recall being very excited over that!
Chicken broth, tea, juice, popsicles...

I received my epidural, and didn't feel a thing when the Dr. administered it.

I used the bathroom once more after that,

and then I had to get a catheter, which I did not enjoy.

I really did not want to receive Pitocin,

but it got to the point where I was not dilating past 4cm and after much discussion,

the Dr highly suggested that we get it and so I did.

It did make me dilate, and it caused the contractions to get a bit wacky.

Fortunately it didn't get out of control and I was able to deliver vaginally and not C-section.

Later into the night between 11-12:30 it was sort of like a mini party

{oddly enough}

but I had my phone playing Pandora {Jack Johnson station}

and my dad would watch the monitor and let me know in 10 seconds when my

next contraction would be coming.

I will admit, I thought the epidural would have made all the pain go away,

but I still had to breathe through each and every contraction.

The pressure you feel with an epidural is immense;

I cannot imagine those who go natural.

Bravo ladies; I commend you.

When this song came on Pandora:

I started crying and my husband even got a little teary eyed,

as it was 'our song for Brooke' when we first discovered we were pregnant.

I was so nervous I'd miscarry or something would happen,

and Joe was nervous to become a daddy,

but we'd play this song and know that
every little thing's gonna be alright...

 {NOTE: we still play this almost daily, 

as the overwhelming responsibilities of being a new mommy and daddy can be quite a lot!!}

We loved the song so much,

Joe played it again on you tube

and even the nurse got excited and started prepping for the birth of our baby girl.

She told us to get the movie Shark Tale or something??
Apparently this song is in it--

I need to look into that.

The Dr came in shortly thereafter around 1am

and checked me one final time.

I was at last,

10cm.

She said it was time to do some "practice pushing"

P.S. I don't think there is such a thing as practice pushing...

Brooke's Birth Story: Part Une

I know so many of you follow via Instagram
and I appreciate all of your comments and support!
MrsDelleFave is my username
This experience of giving birth has been such a whirlwind of emotions,
and I finally feel so empowered to write.
I have so much to say,
and so little time to type it all up now!
If you're interested in Brooke's story, continue reading...
If not, I'll be back to 'regular blogging'
{whatever that means to a mommy!}
soon enough.
I am taking each day and enjoying all that life has to offer my beautiful family.
Life is such an amazing gift and this has been the most incredible journey.
It's hard to believe that back in April 2012,
it all began with this:

*****
Fitting that the last post I wrote was prior to our last Dr visit.

Tuesday we went in to see how our baby girl was fairing,

since she was already a few days past due.

We were brought into a room and they hooked me up to a machine

that monitors baby's movements/heart rate and any contractions I may have...

and lo and behold, the 'cramps' I had been feeling early Tuesday morning,

were indeed contractions.

{I had also started losing my mucus plug this morning as well}

After being hooked up  in there,

they had us go into the room to have another ultrasound.

The tech told us baby had plenty of fluid still,

but that she was estimated to be around 9 pounds 5 ounces.

If I were to go too much longer,

baby may grow too big for a vaginal delivery.

I was checked one last time by one of my doctors,

and I was still only dilated at 1cm.

He didn't seem hopeful I'd be delivering any day soon,

and was worried about my induction date of 1.16 being too far off.

After leaving there, my husband and I went on a little ride

and stopped at Taco Bell for one of those "Grillers" 

{better looking in the commercial, than in your mouth, as always}

When we got home I begged him to go on a walk with me,

because all the while I had still been feeling these darn contractions.
I hoped that the walk would get things going and maybe baby would come!

After a little cold weather walk with our dogs,

we settled in for the night...

except my contractions started coming quicker and quicker

and becoming more and more painful.

I decided to stay on the couch,

as I just had weird feelings,

and Joe went up to bed. 

I started texting with my mother as I wasn't sure if this was "it'

and more than anything I didn't want to be "that girl" who thinks she's in labor,

when really it's a false alarm.

When my contractions got to be about 3-5 minutes apart,

I started to think it was the real deal.

They seriously hurt and I couldn't talk or walk through them.

I was deep breathing just to get through each one.

I called the hospital and they told me to come in.

I woke up Joe, he showered, we brought the bags to the truck

and off we went.

We caught every green light, as one would hope at 4 in the morning.

We checked into the hospital and they set me up in triage.

They hooked me up to the monitors again,

checking for contractions and baby's heartbeat.

This not so friendly midwife came in and checked me.

1cm dilated.

Poor Joe, still sick with a sinus infection and so tired, fell asleep in the corner.

I laid there, cold, tired, nervous, and losing faith that it was time,

as my contractions slowed right down.

I barely had any and I felt so stupid.

Had I imagined all the contractions all throughout the night?
I hadn't slept more than a half hour here and there and at this point,

was just over tired.

The midwife checked me again

and I was still at 1 cm.

She said I was not in labor, I should go home and asked if I was hungry.
I said yes, I had a few tummy grumbles in the last hour,

and she said,

"If you're hungry, you're not in labor."
*sidenote--that is a crock of shit.

As I was laboring, I thought the chicken broth and popsicle were the best thing ever.

When I was pushing my daughter out, I was STARVING!!!

I got up and got dressed. 

It was 7:30 in the morning.

I was sad and felt a little like I'd be pregnant forever.

We got home and climbed into bed...

and the contractions started up again.

I felt so bad that Joe hadn't slept at all and he wasn't feeling well,

I went into the guest bedroom.

Again the contractions came, but just one every hour.

I'd sleep about 45 minutes and the pain would wake me.

They calmed down mid-afternoon,

and I got a half an hour of sleep here or there.

My sweet husband didn't know what to do,

as he could tell I was in pain,

but it wasn't typical 'labor signs'.

He went to the store and got me some soup,

as I had no appetite once we got home.

I nibbled on items that fall into the B.R.A.T. diet

and appreciated Gatorade.

We went to sleep around 10,

and by 11 I got out of bed

for fear that I'd keep my husband up with my moaning and breathing in pain.

That night was one of the worst nights of my life.

It's scary in the middle of the dark night,

when everyone else is sleeping.

Your mind begins to taunt you,

and you worry.

I worried my baby girl would be too big and something bad would happen.
I worried that this pain meant something awful was happening to me.

This wasn't how I envisioned "labor" to be.
I began googling,

 while I lay in the guest room,

timing these horrendous contractions.

They came, like clockwork, every ten minutes.

I'd fall asleep for 8-9 minutes and BAM be awakened.

From 12 until 8:31 I wrote down every time on my phone.

It reminded me of the pain I felt when I was 10 and had E.coli and was in the hospital for a week.

Sharp pains that would.not.stop.
What I did come across while searching online was something known as
Prodromal Labor 

Joe heard my in agony at 6:30 and came in and tried to snuggle with me,
as I was starting to get worked up and really upset.

Finally I was texting my mother and my step-mother and

I explained to them, this cannot be normal.
This pain is far too great, I had virtually no sleep since Monday night

and it's now Thursday morning.

They both convinced me to just call the hospital again.

{I was thinking about waiting it out until my Dr. appointment Friday morning???}

When I spoke to the Doctor on call,
she sounded sympathetic and when I told her I had not slept since Monday,
she said, "Oh my God. Come right in, let's see what we can do for you."

I told Joe to get in the shower,

he grabbed my bag yet again,

and I just hoped and prayed that the next time I came back home,

it'd be with my daughter in my arms, not inside me...

Happy Tuesday

Just waiting around for my husband to get home,

so we can go see our little girl on the Ultrasound

and get some testing done to see how she's doing in there!

I really felt sick all day yesterday and didn't do much other than lay on the couch.

I'm feeling much better today--

I have to laugh at myself.

All of my clothes were dirty.

As in, all 2 pairs of pants, and my two pairs of leggings that fit

{since the other pair is designated for "the hospital bag"}

I would have had NO pants to wear to the doctor's appointment!!

#overduepregnantprobz
Luckily I had time to do the laundry really quick.

I'm over this limited wardrobe,

and besides,

Miss Brooke Lynn--

your wardrobe is killing me hanging there all cute and pretty

and not being worn!!
And some fun quotes...

google images

Happy Tuesday loves!

What I'm Watching

Since I'm still killing time

{and trying not to focus all on baby...

it's like watching a pot of water boil}

I'm not usually a huge TV person;

I love the Food Network and The Cooking Channel.

That's what I mostly watch/have on the TV.

But, since there's not a whole lot else I can do besides

play online,

read books,

and patiently wait...

Here's a few shows that have caught my eye.

I'll start with a few that I am oddly excited about watching:

I really only love Jillian Michaels.

I'm also interested to see how they tackle the whole overweight children concept.

I feel strongly about good health and I love JM's passion.

{And her kick-ass workouts I cannot wait to get back into!}

You can see some of my favorite workouts posted here...
I know it will motivate me, once I get the clear to workout hardcore again!!

 I always enjoy the first few episodes...

hubs and I may or may not make inappropriate commentary as the 

"young classy ladies" exit the limo and meet their potential future husband.

I love the dresses and some of the cattiness. 

No lie.

 I'm happy that Revenge starts back up!

We definitely get into her twisted plot of avenging her father's death.

"Our Show"

is definitely Modern Family.

Gloria is having her baby Wednesday

#maybeiwillhaveminetoo

We just love all the characters and laugh so hard every episode.

Our other "new" show is How I Met Your Mother

We ordered Netflix through our PS3

and had never seen this show.

I don't even know which season we are on,

but we are completely addicted and love love love this show!

I love Ted's quirkiness and my husband finds Barney hysterical.

Awesome show.

  Guilty Pleasures:

Pretty Little Liars

 Since having Netflix,

we can now stream it through our phones/ipads...

Sweet!
I jumped on this cheesy chic drama bandwagon.

It's pretty ridiculous but something to pass the time.

 I still keep up with my Real Housewives...

I'm not really loving any of the women or episodes,

but I do like all their fancy bling,

over-sized homes,

fancy cars,

crazy lifestyles...

And the train-wreck that is Miami

Joanna is super pretty,

but man is she a drunken mess!

I feel like these women just get more and more fake...

I liked that they got away for a bit to the Bahamas,

but I find myself questioning why I'm even watching this garbage??

Again, I blame the pretty outfits, fun hair, and lavish lifestyles.

I DVR Dr. Oz

and find that I do learn quite a bit from him.

I take it all with a grain of salt; 

if you took a vitamin or ate everything he talks about on the show,

you can drive yourself insane.

I do try to take most of it and apply it to our lives,

and it helps to watch a show like this from time to time to educate myself.

In other viewing news...

Hubs and I went to a movie on Saturday.

I was really anxious to get out of the house,

and get out of my mind!!

I appreciate anything that will distract me these days.

So, I chose the movie

This is 40.

My husband said it was the scariest movie he's ever seen,

and I have to agree;

it was not that funny!
It was actually quite sad...

and taught us all about how we don't want to parent our children,

how we don't want to treat one another,

and how messed up families can really be!
Not saying we are perfect,

because we aren't,

but we are genuinely happy people and that movie was just a crock.

We laughed a few times, but not worthy of a theater ticket...

I don't know, I just expected really funny and it disappointed.

I was happy to get out of the house though!

And probably most importantly this week will be

Saturday at 8pm:

The playoffs.

Joe's already coaching Brooke that she better come before

or after this big game!!

We'll see what she has in store.

Anything else out there I should be watching?

Hopefully I won't have much time soon,

but for now...

40 Week Bumpdate

How far along:

 40 Weeks and 1 day
Black is slimming, no?

Baby is the size of:
an extra large watermelon??
She's huge.
I don't know.

Labor Signs:

 At my Dr's appointment I am still 1cm dilated

70% effaced

Mucus plug is gone

Lots of cramping

We are scheduled to go in for an ultrasound Tuesday

We have our induction date of January 16th 

{you go in at night, have the baby the next day}

I'm hoping she comes on her own before then!!

Symptoms:

I feel like I have to pee every 5 minutes now.
It's insane.
Every time I stand, I feel like I gotta go.
Still emotional.
I may or may not yell out loud to my husband:
I want this baby out now!!
From time to time.
My hips hurt so bad they woke me up this morning.
I have to sit-up and not lay

Mood:
I'm happy and frustrated.

 Trying to stay positive.

I really want to have her on my own, without being induced.

I feel like everyone has had her baby in blogland
except me!!
{Those who were due around this time, that is}
I anxiously await anything that remotely feels like a contraction.

Clothes:
I have like 3 outfits that sort of fit, but I change right into comfy pants and t-shirt,
belly hanging out as soon as I am home.
I live in my robe.
Miss Anything:

I want to hold my baby.

Cravings:

I could go for a NYC Pizza and it's only 10am.

Rings:

Still off.
Still miss them.

Stretch Marks:

I do believe, in the last few days...
I have a few small ones popping up under the belly.
How sad.
:(
She needs to come out NOW!!!

Weight:

Just gained a pound last week.

Best Moment of the Week:

My husband is home all weekend,
so we walked the mall after the doctors yesterday.
Put away all Christmas decor/bins etc.
I'm just enjoying our 'quiet time' together.

Looking forward to:

Seeing our baby girl on the ultrasound on Tuesday.
{Although I'd rather her appear before then, in real life!}
Contractions.
Never thought I'd be hoping for bad bad pain!!
I may also do some acupressure/acupuncture within the next week...

Overall thoughts/concerns: 
I've come to terms that she'll come when she's ready;
and if she's not ready, we'll help her out.
Knowing that I can't go any further than January 16 is somewhat comforting,
but at the same time, seems like forever and a day away.
I am glad they are giving us time to allow her to come on her own.
I really don't want to go through induction,
as so many end up in C-sections, and I wanted a vaginal birth.
I know the end result:
a healthy baby in my arms,
will happen either way,
so what will be, will be.
And just for kicks,
here's a picture of my mom pregnant with me in her last month
and obviously a picture of me in the last month.

My mom is only 5'4 and she had me, an 8 lb 12 oz baby!!
So I really wonder what my 5'8 self and 6'3 husband will create.
Hope my next bump post is a picture of my baby!!!!!!!!!

Holiday Re-cap 2012

Since I keep thinking baby will be here any minute...

I sort of neglected to mention my holidays.
Woops.

I figured since today is my due date, 

I may as well stop focusing on her and not forget all the other happenings in my life.

I wanted to document them simply because I love looking back at 

all that we've done and I don't want to leave things like this out!

So here's a little peek into our Christmas.

I finished opening all of my lovely 

25 days of gifts from my friend Alison:

She stopped by with a tin full of cookies.

They were SO delicious,

I barely shared any.

The molasses dipped in something frosting were awesome!!

Sorry I never took a picture.

 A fun little scented candle!

 Hello, soy lattes!!

 She made homemade body scrub--

smells amazing.

 O.M.G.

These little devils are to die for!!
I heart Trader Joe's.

{and I successfully hid these form the hubs til yesterday!}

 And for her final gift,

how freakin awesome?!

 It was such a fun way to get through December.

I cannot imagine how much time it took to pick out thoughtful

and meaningful gifts for this mama to be;

Al, I am so so so grateful!!

Love you girl!! :)

As for our Christmas celebrations...

on the Sunday before Christmas my family came over.

Lots of presents under the tree!

 Festive dining room

 My sister and her friend were "Santa's elves" and passed out gifts

Mimosas in hand.

Obvi.

 

 
We snapped what we hoped would be 

"One last prego picture"

My husband, myself, my step-mom Tricia and my dad

 That brings us to Christmas Day.
Hubs and I exchanged gifts and took it easy.

He got Brooke her first gift from daddy:

So soft and cuddly!

 And after we opened all the gifts,

I went up to take a shower.

In the shower, there was one last wrapped gift.

How awesome?!

 We hadn't gotten one, and he decided to give it to me for

Christmas. I feel so much better knowing we'll have a little video

to watch her on now!!

His parents stopped by for a bit and we exchanged with them.

Here I am...still prego!

For dinner it was just the two of us

and I've been really good not eating a ton of seafood,

but I scored a deal on 16oz lobster tails

2/$40

I figured I'm so close, a little lobster won't be awful.

They were so delicious.

He mixes:
White Wine

Lemon Juice

Butter

Chopped Garlic

and drizzles it over

and bakes them in the oven.

 We made a yummy salad and lemon risotto.

I spent the rest of the day being comfy.

 And cuddling with Holly.

He was still recovering from being sick,

so it was nice to not have to run around this year.

I appreciated it as well,

since well, I don't 'run around' very easily.

:)
It was probably our last quiet and relaxing holiday,

for many many years to come.

Oh,

and for New Years?

Couch position. 

As quiet as our 2012 holidays were,

I cannot wait to share them with our baby in 2013.