Thoughts on Thursday

I saw a mug on social media, and I'm totally blanking on the company, but it said "Raising Tiny Humans in Exhausting." and I couldn't agree with it more.  There have been a lot of moments lately when my eyes just close and my mind stops racing, and I hear the cries.

Baby is up; his teeth are bothering him.  I go make a bottle, since that always helps, I go in and rock him for a bit.  He cuddles up with me, no longer fitting in the crook of my arms comfortably, but rather his long one year old body snuggles up close to me, head in my neck, me kissing his head.

I calm him down and he lays back down, holds his bottle and blankie and falls asleep...and what feels like moments later, I hear the damn neighbor's dog across the street bark, like clockwork at 6:30.

A few minutes later, I hear the baby.  And then Brooke. and just like that, the day starts over, once more.

I rush to get a bottle made, let the dog out, run back up to get Brooke out of bed so we don't have any accidents in bed, grab the baby and change his dirty diaper.  Hear the dog bark as she is back and doesn't want to sit outside in the cold. Run downstairs, turn on the coffee maker.  Iron Joe's clothes, get breakfast started...

It's a pretty standard routine and we could all get healthy and feel better, I know that it would run a little more smoothly.   Joe's Crohn's has really been acting up, he needs to go get checked out.  I've been dealing with some odd digestive issues myself and it's really getting old.  Healthcare is a pain in the butt and trying to get to appointments and figure out what is wrong is such a process.

We said to each other we really need to start having more fun.  I know life has changed with kids, but we know how important it is to keep our marriage and relationship strong.   I'm trying to interview more babysitters because we just don't have time for anything.  It's so hard to find good help you trust, so I am asking for some assistance from above, for a lot lately...

Baby boy is walking. Practically running! He's into everything and anything.  It's all eyes on him, or watch out.

Brooke had a pre-school open house for next year.  I was so nervous she wasn't going to get in because they only take 16 people, but we were #12 signing up and so that was a relief to find that out!

Joe sent me an article on how terrible it is to multi task in long story short, it makes you stupid.  Well explains it mommas!  At this point I have counted 6 times (and I have only sat down for maybe 5 minutes?) to grab Brookie tissues (runny nose).  She needed apple juice.  She was hungry.  She needed help with her play doh princess tower.  I forgot to grab my coffee.  I spilled the apple juice.

So, my point, as a mom, it's pretty much impossible to finish a task without stopping for someone else.  And when I don't stop? I hear cries. Whines. And eventually those little whines aren't so cute.

7 times now. I've stopped 7 times. 8.  9.  10...that play doh didn't keep her attention very long!



Anyway, I know this is a season, and I keep telling myself I'll miss this.  But right now?  It's hard.  Life gets hard, Being a mom to two littles and a wife to someone who has a pretty crappy disease and me not feeling well?  It's tough.  I somehow was afraid to be here on this blog. I worry about what everyone reading it will think, but after listening to Amber from Mommy's Me Time, I realized I have to stop.

If I feel a little helpless and like everything is not under control, I am sure there are other mommies out there feeling the same way.  I keep listening to a lot of Joel Olsteen (in my car) and Terri Savelle Voy (On you tube) and I keep hearing about how I need to act like it's all better. I need to thank God for all that I have, to be grateful, but also to thank him for what I want, as if I already have it.   Basically, it's "Living Breakthrough minded" and so that is what I'm going to keep doing.

Before I feel like I'm on top, I have to go through some tough times..well folks, I think those times are present.

I really feel like I'm rambling today, but I never want it to seem like I have it all together.  That I'm super human or perfect, because I'm not.  I'm not bulletproof and I always strive to be my best, but sometimes life is a little messy and just not easy.

There is so much I wish were different, and I try so very hard to work on my mindset and focus on the good.  Like in my little business? I did reach my goal of Associate Designer.  I had a few amazing socials last month and I actually did it and promoted within my 2 months.  So awesome and I am so proud of myself.  I know that it's important to me to have my own little thing. I find it so fun to help people create personalized pieces that bring them joy.  I would love to be able to work on this business for a few hours a week at a coffee shop or have some more at home socials, because I know I need that basic girl connection.  But now? I feel like it's back to the drawing board with my sweet little family and trying to heal all of us...

It takes a village to raise kids and sometimes I feel like the village is Joe and I.  And that's ok, it just takes a lot of work on our part!  I know we need some kid free time, more than just 4 hours away for dinner, and so that is my goal by the end of the month.  I told him I just want to eat sushi in bed & sleep in past 7!! That sounds heavenly.

How do you survive the tough moments of mommy hood?  Aside from the coffee/wine suggestion, as those really aren't helping my tummy problems!!  I'm all ears.