Sadie

Well, I finally wrote my entire post--thoughts, feelings, emotions, and tears.  I re-capped what happened that Thursday, over month ago.

And then it didn't save.

So, I have what's left, and I don't feel like writing it again right now…maybe later.

Today Sadie would have been 8.

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Because before Brooke and before Brad and before Holly before Joe there with Sadie.

For some reason, I didn't think it would be this hard to get over a dog.  For now I'll blame it on my pregnancy hormones, since that excuse won't be valid much longer.. Growing up we lost hamsters cats and say goodbye to dogs. Heartbroken over beloved family pet Bacca, to this day still remains the best well-behaved dog I ever had...

But we grew up and we moved on I went to college there were other dogs.  Then there was Sadie. 

Perhaps it was because she was so naughty. Maybe it was because she needed so much attention. Or maybe it was because I found her in a moment in my life where nothing seemed right and she filled everything that I needed in that time and I think her I forever tried to give her the best life possible. 

I even remember Joe picking me up the first time, I wouldn't let him inside!! I knew how she loved to jump on people and was so naughty, I didn't want to scare him off haha!  Well that didn't happen.  He fell in love with both of us.

We became a family.

With her crazy seizures and her licking of the air, we were always trying ways to make her life better.  That included this crazy wrap jacket thing.  #didntwork

While I don't expect the tears to dry, i'm hoping that this kind of closes a chapter so remains open and unsaid. I've put off writing this simply because I didn't want to cry, and yet almost on a daily basis I find myself tearing up.

I know it's not just me as the tears well up in my husband's eyes, whenever I ask him if it's going to get easier…

I also know when I look at my little dog Holly and how she's still not the same. Sadie was all she ever knew, and although Sadie seems more annoyed than anything that was Holly's pack and now she's one. 

We used to joke about how much easier it would be to keep up with the cleaning without all the fur.   I will trade fur for cleaner floors any day. Every time I dry clothes in the dryer there would always still be tons of fur.  Well I can tell you now when I fold black pants, the pieces of fur are far and few. 

I will also say, once again I have a love/hate relationship with Time Hop.

So, yes, today you would have been 8 Sadie.  I miss you every day and think about you all of the time. I hope you have all the bacon you want in heaven, and get to run around free.  Love you Sadie Lady!