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Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Mothering

Moms do everything.  Ok, maybe not everything, but for the most part, at least in my case, momma is the glue that holds the family together.  It's a lot of pressure us as women put on ourselves; there is never enough time in the day to do everything we want, and by the end of the day, if you're like me, you're exhausted.

I think about folding the laundry sitting by the dryer that needs to be done.

I walk by the pile of mail that needs to be sorted.

The books on the counter give me a side-eye, as if to say, "read me!"

The dog needs to be walked.

The kids need to be bathed.

The living room needs to be picked up and vacuumed.

The crumbs from dinner are sticking to my feet and need to be swept.

Some days are easier than others, but is it simply because of my mindset? I think so.  There is ALWAYS something to be done around this house and being home 24/7 allows for more time to make messes!  So while I am home all day and sure I can clean, I can only load/unload the dishwasher so many times before I am ready to go bonkers.

So I pack all of us up and get-out-of-the-house. {cue the 3:45 Starbucks/Target run Monday afternoon}

Sure it's a bit of a workout getting the kiddos all bundled up, boots, hats, mittens, snacks, drinks, potty before we leave.

It's usually always worth it though, even if the outing can't last too long because Brother doesn't want to sit in the cart and Brooke keeps running around the store.

But if it's one thing I keep learning, it's take time for me.

Take the hot shower, even if it means the kids watch the Ipad and try to climb into the tub.

Take the extra 15 minutes and put on makeup.

Take a few minutes to design a keeper to go with my outfit.

Sneak off to Starbucks, grab a green tea latte and head to the library. (It's eerily quiet!)

Honestly, what really helps is one day a week, go out of the house, just for me.  Tonight it happens to be my favorite {acupuncture} I know it fills my soul with such positive energy and much needed breath of fresh air.

If I don't, carve out these small moments in time for me, I know I get even more frustrated and a little lost.

I've also learned to stop wishing it would be easier, and learn to be better (thank you Jim Rohn).

I'm going to have amazing days in mothering, and I'm going to have some not so great days too.  I've also learned that I can be having an extremely trying day, but still find slivers of pure bliss.  Moments where I look over and the two of them are so sweet, loving, and playful with each other.

Being a mother has taught me so much and has made me feel things I have never imagined I'd feel.  I think the hardest part is always feeling, "on".  Even if I'm not with my babies, I'm always thinking about them and worrying about what I could be doing better.

I am really looking forward to this Summer because of their ages; Brooke really gets things now and Bradley just gets so excited to see Brooke's reactions.  

I have already started planning out some activities that I want to do with them and I just need the weather to cooperate!

I think with Mother's Day coming up, it's stirring all of these emotions of what it means to be a mom; and if you caught my post on one of my big dreams, I definitely want to be close to my kids. In all aspects!

I've also seen a lot about mom shaming and mom judging and quite honestly it's just so disturbing.  I don't really have anything to say other than we need to just start supporting one another and helping each other out because that village that used to be here to help us raise a child, is gone.  A lot of us are doing it mostly on our own.  Husbands work long, intense hours so we can stay home and tend to our children.  There aren't grandmas and aunties living with (or near) me.  Things continue to evolve and I feel as though as technology becomes better, we become more divided.  The more we can see into each others' lives, the more we think we know it all.

I had a brief moment at breakfast this morning, where all of my loves sat eating their breakfast that I lovingly cooked, as I rushed to get my water and hubby's green tea ready, so I could actually sit and enjoy a bite or two with them.

No one gets to see that moment.

I don't post a video on FB.  I don't share a photo of us all enjoying our eggs on Instagram.  I snap videos or photos of the food itself, but that moment that happens every day?  That is ours and no one can see it.

Just like we don't see A LOT of what goes on in 24 hours of other mommas' days.

I chose the word SUCCEED for 2016, and I almost feel like I should have chosen "GROWTH." There is so much growing I continue to do each and every day, I honestly feel silly when time hop shows me old FB statuses or photos of me, 8 years ago.

But isn't that the point?

Aren't we supposed to change and grow and learn to be the best possible version of ourselves?  Becoming a mother has certainly challenged me in ways I find hard to put into words.

Mothering has been such a wild, crazy, messy, beautiful ride since I brought Brooke into this world.  I can honestly say, I am nervous, excited and a little overwhelmed by all that is yet to come.

One day they won't need me to do so much for them, but I know they will need me in so many more ways.  Once you're a mom, you're always a mom.  I know that if I want a healthy and happy relationship with my son and daughter, it's going to be a lifetime or giving; selfless and constant love and affection, no matter what.  It's being there for them when they don't even think they need me, is what will matter most.

Moms are everything to a child, and that doesn't change no matter if you're one or forty.

We are all in this together moms, and raising littles is not easy, but it is so worth every stink(y)in moment.  So if you're feeling alone, a little or a lot overwhelmed, or simply like you're going a little nutty, it's gonna be okay.  Focus on the good, give some extra hugs, and find a really good latte to help you through!!

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